Dream On
by Hizzy
Summary: Professor Xavier takes a look into everone's dreams and finds that they are all parodies of moviesbooks. Final chapter of Logan's dream (The Shining) up.
1. IntroKitty's Dream Part 1

You have opened my fanfic and are reading it. Good for you. I'm very proud of you, you know. It's people like you who make this all worthwhile. Now, I must warn you all, though, that it's a bit slow in the very beginning, but it will pick up.  
  
Also, I might point out that all main characters will be included in this story. That is, the X-Men (Jean, Scott, Kurt, Kitty, Rogue, Evan) And also the brotherhood will get in on the action (Lance, Pietro, Todd, Fred, Wanda). They're not all in the first part, but I'll get to them, granted I continue this fic. That is, if you guys review. No reviews = I won't continue it. Otherwise I feel like I'm talking to myself. Not that that isn't fun, though. And plus the more reviews I get the faster I'll update. So, review away! Okay, just as long as you read it. Please.... I'll pay you...   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters and blah, blah, blah.  
  
-Hizzy  
  
____________________________  
  
Professor Xavier's institution was a very interesting place, as any of its residents would note. The professor found that late night was always the most interesting for himself. He often had trouble sleeping at night so on those nights he secretly entered the minds of those who slept and watched their dreams. It would do them no harm, he knew, as they were sleeping and would never know of his late-night snooping. Besides, he was an old man and that's what old men do. They pry.   
  
On a late Tuesday night, he once again found himself without sleep and wondering what everyone else would dream about that night. His students showed particularly interesting dreams that always proved quite entertaining.   
  
He decided to start with Kitty. Her past few dreams had been a bit dull, so the professor figured she was due for a good one. He concentrated hard and finally found the girl's mind. At first there was nothing but a bit of brain static, but after just a moment, a dream began to form. Slowly, the darkness became brighter until Xavier could see the dream perfectly. And here is what he saw:  
  
Kitty was running down a dirt road with a fearful expression on her face and in her arms she held a fuzzy white dog. She kept running, and running, and then she stopped and bought an expresso at the road-side Starbucks, and then she was running some more. Finally, she got to a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. She threw the dog down and ran over to her mother.   
  
"Mom! That creepy woman is, like, at it again!" Kitty yelled angrily. The mother knew exactly what Kitty was talking about. It happened a lot. Kitty's dog would run off, relieve itself in their neighbor's yard, causing the neighbor to become very angry and dispose of it. Of course, this would always make Kitty angry so she always bought a new dog and trained it to do the same exact thing. This time, however, her mother was surprised to see the dog still alive.   
  
"She didn't kill the dog this time?" her mother asked as she examined the dog, which indeed was not dead. In fact, it was so alive that it was relieving itself on her leg. Mrs. Pryde kicked the dog away in disgust.  
  
Kitty beamed, "Nope! I saved little Popo this time. That stupid Wanda will never kill my dog again!" When the name of the neighbor was spoken, a bolt of lightening crashed through the sky, the cows mooed in terror, and a man died somewhere in Algeria.  
  
It was at that particularly convenient moment that the creepy music began to play, signaling that Wanda was near. Kitty had a panicked look on her face, and she grabbed her dog and phased through the barn wall, just before Wanda entered the property.  
  
Mrs. Pryde greeted her politely onto the far. Kitty's mother did not dislike her the way Kitty did. In fact, she wanted to kill the dog, too, but that would only result in a much worse situation.  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Pryde. I've come to kill your dog," said Wanda evenly.   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," the mother said loudly so Kitty could hear. At the same time she pointed towards the barn and then proceeded to prepare for the dog's funeral.  
  
At that time, Kitty was huddled in the barn with Popo. She was sitting next to a cow and giggling. "She'll never find us in here," Kitty said to the dog, "Unless mom tells her we're in here like she probably will. You know how mom can never keep a secret." Just as she said this, the barn door was flung open and Wanda's theme music played. Outside, lightening crashed across the sky, cows mooed, and a man in Algeria, who had miraculously recovered from death, died.  
  
"Give me the dog," Wanda said in Kitty's direction.   
  
Kitty stared at her blankly, "Like, what dog?"   
  
Wanda narrowed her eyes at Kitty, growing increasingly agitated. She pointed at Popo, "That one."   
  
"Oh! You mean the one next to me?" Kitty asked and looked at the dog, then looked back at Wanda, "That's not a dog. It's a cow."  
  
Wanda was flustered for a moment, then glared at the other girl, "No it isn't!"  
  
"Is too!" Kitty shot back. She liked to think of herself as an expert debater.  
  
Wanda sighed impatiently, "All right, have it your way. Give me the cow."   
  
Kitty struggled to think of something to say or do to get herself out of this mess. Usually she only got slightly annoyed when Wanda kept killing her dog, but Popo was different than the others. The first dog she'd had, Bobo, was a very ugly dog, so nobody cared at the loss of that dog. The second dog, Koko, wasn't actually a dog. It was a bunny. Then the few after it, Wowo, Fofo, Lolo, Momo, Dodo, and Zozo, were all very stupid and they all smelled funny. Popo, on the other hand, was good natured, intelligent, huggable, and it always got rid of any Jehovah's witnesses that showed up on the farm. Kitty knew that she had to protect Popo, even if that meant doing something about it. Finally, she came up with a fool-proof solution to the whole mess. It would definitely work, with only a 75% chance of failing. Kitty jumped up, ready to set the plan into motion, when she realized that during the time she had been reminiscing about the dogs and creating the plan, Wanda had already taken the dog and left.   
  
"Like, crap!" Kitty shouted and ran outside. If it wasn't too late, she would come up with a new plan and get the dog back. She ran into the house to inform her mother that she might be late for dinner. Suddenly, a tornado picked up her house and carried it away.  
  
Kitty was still looking for her mother, when she realized that something was terribly wrong. She looked out the window and saw things flying around outside. First, she saw Fred and Todd in a rowboat. Then she saw Logan on his motorcycle. After that she saw Wanda. Kitty gasped and was about to demand her dog back, when, right in front of her eyes, Wanda became a witch. More so, that is. Before anything else could be done, her house plummeted down and down and down, and just when Kitty thought it couldn't go down any more, she realized that it could. A few hours later, it finally hit the ground.  
  
Disoriented, Kitty wobbled around for a while, until she accidentally phased through a wall and fell into a big heap on the ground. She pulled herself up and rubbed her head, grumbling under her breath. This was a bad day, she thought, and that night it would earn a full page entry in her diary. Finally, she became aware of her surroundings. It was very bright and colorful all around. Kitty tried to shield her eyes against it. She knew places like this caused people to get Technicolor Poisoning.   
  
She was still adjusting to the colorful scenery when a large black bubble began to make it's way towards her. Kitty stared in amazement as it grew bigger. Her impulses got the best of her, and Kitty reached out and popped the bubble. To Kitty's surprise, a girl fell out of it. The girl was wearing a weird black dress and a crown. Also, the girl did not look pleased with Kitty.  
  
"Um... sorry," Kitty managed as she watched the girl pick herself off the ground and adjust her dress and pick her wand of the ground.   
  
The girl sighed, "That's okay. You'd be surprised at how many times that happens."  
  
"Really? How many times has it happened?" Kitty asked.  
  
"You were the first," the girl said flatly and brushed some brightly colored dirt off her arm.   
  
"Who are you, anyway? Are you, like, some kind of cosplayer, or something?" Kitty had part of the dress in her hand to examine it.  
  
The girl pulled the dress back and sighed, trying not to be annoyed, however, that was becoming increasingly difficult, "I'm Rogue, the good witch of the North."   
  
Kitty's eyes widened, "Witch!? Aren't witches, like, evil?"   
  
Rogue rolled her eyes, "Not all of us. And I'M not the one who crushed somebody with my house." Kitty stared at her blankly for a moment, not quite registering what the good witch had just said to her. "Look," Rogue pointed to under the house, where a pair of feet were sticking out from underneath it.   
  
"Ew!" Kitty gasped as she moved away from the house.  
  
"Ew is right!" Rogue exclaimed, "That's Mystique, the wicked witch of the east! But don't worry, we all wanted to kill her, anyway."  
  
"Because she's evil?"  
  
Rogue thought for a moment, "Well, that and she kept letting her car alarm go off at night and was keeping everyone awake."   
  
Kitty glared at Mystique's feet, "She was REALLY evil, than, wasn't she? Are you sure she's dead." They two girls looked under the house and got nauseated looks across their faces. "She couldn't possibly be any deader," Rogue stated and they moved away from the body  
  
"Um, I need to ask you a favor..." Kitty started.  
  
Rogue stopped her, "I'm way ahead of you. You want to go home, don't you? I actually don't know how to get you home, but if you go talk to The Professor, he'll figure out how to get you there. Take Mystique's shoes and wear them for protection. All you have to do to find The Professor is follow that road there and it will take you to Diamond City, where he lives. Good luck!" With that, the black bubble appeared around Rogue and she floated away.  
  
Kitty groaned. She was actually going to ask if there was a bathroom she could use. She really had to go and she didn't want to go in her house because Mystique might be haunting it. She sighed and looked at the road Rogue had mentioned. 'Maybe this Professor guy has a bathroom I can use...' With that, she set off on journey. One to find a bathroom, and if she had time, she'd find her way home.   
  
Not long after she had started off along the road, she saw that the road split in two different directions.  
  
"Which way am I supposed to go?" she asked herself aloud. She looked down at the map she had bought but all that was on it was a dotted line and an X. She regretted having spent $10 on it.   
  
To her surprise, a voice answered back in a German accent, "Maybe you should go left."   
  
Kitty blinked a couple times and looked around. She didn't see anybody. The only things in the area were the cornfield, a fence, and a talking scarecrow. Kitty scratched her head and shrugged. She started walking to the left, but was interrupted as the voice spoke again.  
  
"No wait! To the right!"   
  
Kitty was confused but turned did as it said, however the voice only told her to go left, then right, then left, then straight, then up, then backwards, and then around in circles. By that time, Kitty had gotten very dizzy.  
  
Kitty stopped and turned in the direction of the voice, "Make up your mind!"  
  
The scarecrow looked surprised and offended, "Well, it's not like YOU know which way to go!"  
  
Kitty stared at him, realizing finally that the scarecrow had been the voice, "You can talk!"   
  
"I can do more than talk," said the scarecrow, suggestively.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Uh..." he thought for a moment, then sighed, "Okay, I can't do anything else. Happy?"  
  
"You can talk but you can't do anything else? Like, what kind of scarecrow ARE you?" Kitty looked at him suspiciously.   
  
"Well, I could do more, but I'm stuck up here," he told her, motioning to the pole he was attached to, "If you help me get down from here, I'll help you find The Professor."  
  
Kitty thought about it, "I guess that would be..." she stopped and narrowed her eyes at him, "Wait, how'd you know I was going to see The Professor?"   
  
"I just figured that's where you were going because you're holding a sign that says, 'PROFESSOR OR BUST,'" he said and pointed to her sign. She looked at it in surprise and remembered making it fifteen minutes ago when she was trying to hitchhike.   
  
She shrugged and yanked him off the pole, "So you know which way to go?"  
  
"Not really, but I want to see him, too," he said and noticed her curious expression and explained, "I'm going to ask him to fix this whole, being a scarecrow thing."   
  
Kitty raised an eyebrow, "You don't want to be a scarecrow?"  
  
"Nah, I want to be a professional wrestler," the scarecrow admitted. Kitty nodded in agreement. Not a person back home didn't want to become a professional wrestler.   
  
"I'll be fun having a traveling partner," Kitty said to him. Her other traveling partner, Crazy George, had stayed behind back at the gas station.  
  
"I'm Kurt," the scarecrow said and extended a hand to shake hers.  
  
"I'm Kitty," she took the offered hand, "You're funny looking."  
  
Kurt glared at her and pulled his hand back, "Well, my mother says I'm a very handsome scarecrow!"  
  
"You're mother?" Kitty asked curiously. She didn't think scarecrows had parents.  
  
"Yeah," he said, "The woman who sewed me together. Her name was Mystique."  
  
Kitty coughed and turned the other way, nervously. She really wanted to change the subject but she only knew of one way to do that. Break into song.   
  
And so they did. Both began skipping and dancing along and sang words, and occasionally trailing off and mumbling where they didn't know the words to the song. They went on like that for hours until they reached a forest. It was completed and utterly deserted. Except for the animals, munchkins, talking trees, several witches, and a strange tin statue of a man. But aside from that them there was nobody.  
  
"Look, Kitty!" Kurt said and pointed to the tin man, "A robot!" He walked over to it and observed it closely. Just as he was noticing its strange tin sunglasses, the tin man made a noise.  
  
Kitty peered at the tin man questioningly, "I think he's trying to talk!"  
  
"Robots don't talk," Kurt told her.   
  
Just then, Piotr walked by. He was in a hurry because he was late for a metal-person assembly. He nodded in Kurt and Kitty's direction and said very quickly, "Hey, how's it going."  
  
Kitty looked back at Kurt smugly. He pouted for a moment, but the tin man brought them back on the subject they had been originally discussing: the tin man.  
  
"What's he saying?" Kitty wondered aloud. They both listened for a moment. The tin man was saying one word over and over again but it was very muffled and he wasn't moving at all.  
  
"It sounds like..." Kurt started and paused a moment to listen again, "Oil..."  
  
Kitty nodded, "It does... Something that rhymes with 'oil' than. But what?"  
  
"Boil?" Kurt suggested.  
  
Kitty thought for a moment, "Coil?"  
  
"Foil?" They continued naming off all the things that rhymed with oil, all the while making the tin man angrier and angrier. Eventually he gave up trying to say the word and just listened to the two in annoyance.  
  
Kitty sat down on a tree stump to prepare herself for some heavy duty thinking. As she took her seat, something fell off the stump and on to the ground. She picked it up and examined it.  
  
"Hey, Kurt," she held it up, "I found this can of oil sitting here... Do you think this is what he was talking about?" As she said this the tin man started making more noise.   
  
"I get it!" Kurt said, "He wants us to oil him! That does make more sense than soil... although..." Kurt looked down at the soil on the ground suspiciously.   
  
Kitty took the oil can over to the tin man and first oiled the hinges of his mouth. As soon as she had done so, his mouth began to move and soon he was able to talk.  
  
"Thank you!" he said, ignoring the previous confusion, "I haven't been able to talk for so long!"  
  
"How long have you been like that?" Kitty asked as she continued to oil the rest of the tin man.  
  
He thought for a moment, "It must have been 500 years."  
  
"Really!" Kurt asked in astonishment, "That long!?"  
  
"Well," the tin man reconsidered, "It was more like five hours."   
  
"Oh..." Kurt said in disappointment. He watched as Kitty finished oiling the final hinge and the tin man was able to move freely around.   
  
"So, what brings you to this part of the woods?" asked the tin man.  
  
"We're on our way to see The Professor," Kitty told him.   
  
"The Professor," the tin man echoed and he thought deeply about that, and then said, "Would you mind if I came along? I want to see him, too." And so he introduced himself. His name was Scott and he was a tin man. He went on to explain how he has no heart, being a tin man and all, and how all the others told him that with heart he just wasn't any fun and it made him too uptight and all that other stuff.   
  
Kurt and Kitty agreed to let Scott join them, especially after he convinced them that his rational thinking would be the only way they could make it to The Professor. And they both agreed that having a responsible person in the group would be a good thing. Especially since that meant that they didn't have to be responsible.   
  
And so, the threesome continued on their way to see The Professor. Unaware of the danger that awaited them, and of the plot twists that would be thrown into the mix to boost ratings. Also, unaware that a chapter was just about to end...  
  
____________  
  
BAM! Chapter 1: completed.  
  
Sorry I didn't even finish Kitty's dream all in one chapter. I didn't want to make any chapters too terribly long. Not all of the characters will have dreams that are quite this long.  
  
Yuck, but this really isn't my best work. For the next chapter I'll try not to add too much dialogue as I did in this one.  
  
Also, if any of you readers would like to suggest themes for other character's dreams, I'd be glad to hear them. I'm going with all movies and books and things to that extent. I've already got most of them already picked out, but there are a couple that I'm not sure of.   
  
And even if I don't use your ideas, I do like hearing what my readers think, because you are all very dear to me and I love you. *gives you all a cookie and pats you on the head*  
  
-Hizzy 


	2. Kitty's Dream Part 2

^^ Thank you all for your kind words. This is my first X-Men fic and I was a bit hesitant to do it in the first place, but I'm glad I did because this fanfic is very fun to write.   
  
Now, in the past I have never replied to reviews in a post, but, eh, what the hey.   
  
Dark Jaded Rose- "i thought to tell u that u should be careful in making this an interactive fic because fanfiction.net will take off the story, it just happened with mines" I wouldn't call this an interactive fic. I asked for suggestions but the fic is not based on those. I've already chosen most of my ideas for the fanfic and will later come up with the rest. I'm just asking for help... help from friends. Because we're all friends here. Except maybe that guy. *points to suspicious guy in back, who's holding a knife* I think it's silly, though, that fanfiction.net take off interactive stories. I see nothing wrong with them. Then again, they won't even host NC-17 stories anymore, those jerks. (j/k, I support the family morals that should be withheld on the internet... *bursts out laughing*)  
  
Eden: "how about doing a dream about, oh man, forgot what i was gonna write" I'll get right on that.  
  
SperryDee: "Love this! Well, except for the Mystique-bashing. Mystique rules!" Ah, I'd never bash the ol' gal. I love all the characters... well, there is one that I don't particularly like but I won't get into that. I'm not going to let my disliking for any certain character come out in my stories. I get less ratings that way.  
  
Akaiya: Up yours. I'm gonna come to your house and read my story out loud to you. Ha!  
  
As for the rest of you, you guys rock my world. Keep reviewing. It boosts my ego.  
  
Now that I've wasted nearly half a page here on ranting and ego-trips, lets do this thing.  
  
-Hizzy  
  
(BTW: it's a working title... so very, very bad with titles)  
  
________________________________  
  
It had not even been an hour since the twosome become a threesome, when they entered the dark, spooky portion of the woods. The trees had no leaves, heavy grey clouds covered the entire sky, Michael Jackson fans wandered about... it was enough to leave both Kurt and Kitty pushing Scott to the front for protection. They had all been silent for the past fifteen minutes, but Kurt decided to break the silence.  
  
"Hey, guys?" he started as he nervously looked around, "You don't think there's any lions around here, do you?"  
  
Scott shook his head, "Lions are nothing. We should be worried about tigers."   
  
Kitty huddled a bit more behind Scott, "I'm more worried about bears."   
  
Kurt and Scott looked at her as if she were crazy. "What are you talking about?" Scott asked, "Everyone knows that bears don't live in forests. They live in houses."   
  
"But-"  
  
Kurt stopped her from saying anything to further embarrass herself, "Scott, you have to give her some leeway. She's a foreigner, you know."   
  
After that discussion, Scott and Kurt had somehow managed to get themselves into an argument about whether or not a lion could beat a tiger in fisticuffs. Scott ended up making a very good argument and was able to prove that the tiger would most definitely triumph. The whole time Kitty had been growing more and more nervous about being in a forest where lions and tigers lived.  
  
"Don't feel bad," Scott had been saying to Kurt in the aftermath of their argument, "Lions are very dangerous as well. They have those sharp pointy teeth and those huge claws. If we were to find a lion here right now, it would be able to kill us all within a matter of seconds."  
  
Kitty whimpered and grabbed a pointy stick for protection.  
  
"Yes, of course," Kurt nodded in agreement and added, "But, like you were saying before about tigers, they like to kill people really slowly and make them suffer for a while first. It's probably the worst death a person could ever have."  
  
Kitty's lip trembled and she pulled the stick closer to her chest.  
  
"Well, we don't have to worry about them," Scott began to say. Kitty relaxed a little. The tin man continued talking to Kurt, "They wouldn't go for you or I. Lions and tigers aren't interested in straw and tin. They like blood. They'd go straight for Kitty."  
  
"I guess you're right. We've got nothing to worry about," Kurt smiled in relief. He turned and looked back at Kitty, who was petrified with fear, "Kitty? What's the matter? Are you cold or something?" Kitty opened her mouth to speak but the only sound that came out was a small sob.  
  
"Nevermind," Scott said and pulled Kitty along by the arm, "We better get going. If we stay here for too long a tiger might catch your scent."  
  
At that exact moment a few feet from the trio, a couple of trees went flying and a big, furry, snarling something lunged out onto the path. The three screamed and scattered. Kitty hide behind some bushes, Scott converted himself into a tin can, and Kurt ran around in circles, still screaming. The thing watched them all for a moment, with little or no interest. After a few minutes, the girl, the tin man, and the scarecrow began to calm down and they all looked at the thing, which they quickly realized was not a lion or tiger, but a creepy mountain man. The mountain man had an annoyed look on his face, he began to say something, but that only sent the three running around screaming.   
  
Finally, the mountain man yelled very loudly for them all to shut up. Each did as they were told, and they stood very still.   
  
"Now," the mountain man said slowly, "Why are you all screaming?"   
  
The three didn't move. They stayed in the same position with their mouths hung open. The mountain man stared at them impatiently until, finally, Kitty and Kurt nudged Scott forward to represent them to the mountain man. He stood awkwardly in front of the mountain man and said in a shaky voice, "We were screaming because you're really creepy... and you did knock those trees out over there."  
  
The mountain man looked over at the aforementioned trees and realization crossed his face, "Oh. You mean when I did this?" As he said 'this' claws sprang out of his hands and he sliced a few more trees with little effort. The three shrank back and huddled together on the path. The mountain man turned back to look at them, "No wonder everyone is always screaming and running away from me." He sighed and hung his head, "I don't have any friends anymore."   
  
Kitty felt pity for the mountain man and began moving closer to him and asked, "Because they were all afraid?"  
  
"No," he said glumly, "Because I killed them all."  
  
Kitty stopped in her tracks and her face froze in a horrified expression. She reminded herself to continue being friendly, unless she wanted him to kill her, too. Her voice was now shaking as she said, "Why would you do something like that?"  
  
He narrowed his eyes and looked off into the distance, as if glaring at the people he had mentioned, "They made fun of my hair." Kurt was suddenly glad he had suppressed the urge to say anything on that subject.  
  
"Would you have killed them if they hadn't said anything about your hair?" Kitty didn't really know how to talk to creepy mountain men, so she spoke to him as if her were a child. It didn't seem to invoke his rage.  
  
"Of course not," he said, shocked that she would even suggest such a thing. The three relaxed a little. The mountain man narrowed his eyes again, "Unless they really had it coming." He looked over at Kitty, "I wish I could have comfortable conversation with everybody, like I'm having with you."  
  
Kitty nodded stiffly, a fearful smile across her face, "Yes. I totally agree with everything you just said. Please don't kill me."   
  
The mountain man looked thoughtful for a moment, "I was planning on going to see The Professor and see if he can fix my creepiness."   
  
"Really? That's convenient!" Kurt asked in surprise, "We're traveling to go see him, too!" Upon saying this, he was elbowed in the side by Kitty and had his foot stomped on by Scott.   
  
"In that case," he said, "Would you mind if I came along with you?"   
  
Scott swallowed hard and stared at the mountain man's claws, "Just as long as you don't kill us."  
  
"Deal," said the mountain man, "By the way, my name is Logan."  
  
So the threesome become a foursome.  
  
Little did the four of them know, they were being watched by the wicked witch of the west, Wanda. She sat in her castle, watching Kitty very carefully through her magic crystal ball, which had very good connection, since she had finally switched to a cable modem. Wanda was not pleased with what she saw. Kitty had something Wanda wanted and there was no way the witch would let her get away with that.   
  
Just then, several of Wanda's monkey minions; Pietro, Lance, Todd, and Fred, flew in through the window.   
  
"We've completed our mission," Lance reported as he tossed a bag at her.  
  
"Great, I'm starving!" she exclaimed and opened the Taco Bell bag, only to find a shocking site, "Where's my Chalupa!?"  
  
Fred wiped a bit of sour cream out of his fur, "It must have escaped."   
  
"You fools!" she hissed, "Do you realize what this means?"  
  
"You won't go out with me?" Todd asked sadly.  
  
She growled, "No, it means that you're all idiots! Now go back and do it right this time! And get me some cinnamon twists, while you're at it!"  
  
"So, you'll go out with me when we get back, right?" asked Todd hopefully.  
  
"Get out of my site!" Wanda screamed at them, sending the four on their way out the window.  
  
Pietro muttered under his breath, "Geez, must be someone's time of the month."  
  
"Notice how she didn't say 'no'?" Todd said to Fred.  
  
~~~  
  
This dream is brought to you buy Taco Bell: the Mexican fast food restaurant of choice for nine out of ten munchkins. Also, that one munchkin who doesn't choose Taco Bell has no taste buds and watches Lifetime.   
  
~~~  
  
Not long after meeting up with Logan, Diamond City was finally in sight. It was the single most beautiful thing Kitty had seen in her entire life. Except for that time she had seen had seen that empty plastic grocery bag caught in an updraft. All that lay between the group and Diamond City was a large field of poppy flowers. Little did they know, Wanda had used a spell that caused the poppies bring about a deep sleep for anyone who smelled them. They had all obviously forgotten about when, five minutes ago, a couple of Wanda's monkey minions had accidentally told them all about it.   
  
They all began to run as fast as they could towards Diamond City. The group had not even gotten halfway through the field of poppies, when Kitty and Logan stopped mid-run, got funny looks across their faces, and fell over. Kurt and Scott came back to the fallen friends to investigate.  
  
"Oh no! Their dead!" Kurt cried, "What'll we do!?"  
  
Scott took a closer look, "Judging by Logan's loud snoring, I'd say they're just sleeping."  
  
"Why would they be sleeping?" Kurt asked.  
  
"It must have something to do with these poppies," Scott observed. The poppies were indeed very suspicious, being poppies and all.  
  
"Poppies..." Kurt mulled over what he had just been told, then his eyes got big and round, "Poppies make opium! They've been drugged!" He began to violently shake Kitty in an attempt to awaken her from her tripped out state.   
  
"Um... Kurt..." Scott started but was interrupted by Kurt's loud wailing.  
  
"Cut down in the prime of their lives!" he sobbed, "They didn't even get to see The Professor! WHY!?!?"   
  
All of a sudden, Rogue, the good witch of the north walked up to them. Without saying a word, she dumped a bucket of water on the two sleeping forms, waking them instantly. Before anything could be said, she disappeared into a bubble and floated away.   
  
Everyone stared after her, than exchanged confused glances. They all decided at that moment, to never mention the particular event ever again.   
  
They faced many more obstacles on their way to Diamond City. Fierce weather, munchkin attacks, a few run-ins with Wanda and her monkey minions, even a few plagues... but nothing was able to stop them. Three weeks later, they had finally finished walking the seven yards to Diamond City.   
  
Once at the front gate, Kitty noticed a large sign that said, 'PLEASE KNOCK.' She did as it ordered and, moments later, the doorperson, Jean, peeked out at them.   
  
"Can I help you?" she asked quickly.  
  
Kitty smiled politely at her and answered in the nicest-sounding voice she could manage, "Yes, please. We're here to see The Professor."  
  
"No," she said and slammed the door shut. Kitty stared at the door for a moment, then looked back at her companions. They motioned for her to try again, so she knocked on the door once more. It opened and Jean appeared at it, "I already told you, you can't see him."   
  
"Why not?" Kitty asked, managing to catch the door before Jean slammed it again.  
  
Jean got an impatient look on her face and answered, "It's against regulations."   
  
"What is?"  
  
Jean looked even more impatient and said, "If you don't have an appointment, you can't see him. Now go away, he's got other clients to see." With that, she slammed the door again.  
  
Kitty turned around sadly and looked at everyone else, "What now?"  
  
"Get out of my way," Logan grumbled and pushed her aside. He banged on the door noisily. Kitty, Kurt, and Scott all looked on in quiet horror. Even though the guard hadn't let them in, they didn't want to see her ripped apart by a disgruntled mountain man.  
  
Once more, Jean opened the door and looked out, "Can I help you?"  
  
"Yes, actually you can," Logan started off in a calm, courteous voice, that left his companions' mouths hanging open, "I'd like to make an appointment to see The Professor."  
  
Jean smiled at him and pulled out an appointment book, "What time would you like to make it for?"  
  
Logan feigned a contemplative expression, then answered, "How about right now? Is he available then?"  
  
Jean looked in the appointment book. No appointments were scheduled for the entire day. She smiled up at him, "Looks like there's an opening. Come right this way." She opened the door for them.  
  
Logan looked back at Kitty. "That's how you do it," he said, his voice dropping down to it's usual growl. Kitty scowled at him, then stomped in through the door.   
  
Upon entering, they found that Diamond City was not actually a city at all. It was just a very large, fancy city-looking building. Inside the building, they were all amazed at what they saw. Nothing. It was just an empty room with plain, white walls and ordinary white tiles. Jean lead them through the room and into a separate room which had a sign across it that read, 'The Professor.'   
  
Jean stopped at the door and told them, "You're on your own from here. I have some important filing to do." With that, she departed to go file her nails.   
  
The four entered the room, which was quite dark. Kitty squinted in the dark to see, when suddenly two columns of fire rose from the other side of the room, and The Professor's giant head could be seen.   
  
"I am The Professor!" said the head, then stared blankly at them.  
  
Kitty stepped forward, "My name's Kitty. The good witch of the north told me that you would, like, know how to send me home."  
  
The Professor stared at her, "Really? The good witch of the north said that?"  
  
"Um... yeah..." Kitty said uncomfortably.  
  
The Professor thought over the new information, then said, "I suppose I could do that.... but at a terrible price."  
  
"Which is...?" Kitty asked.  
  
"Uh..." The Professor looked around, "Well... hm... Oh, I got it! Bring me the broom of the wicked witch of the west!"   
  
"But she's mean! She won't give it to me!" Kitty whined.   
  
"Than I guess you won't be going home, will you?" The Professor said.  
  
"Fine!" Kitty yelled, "I'll get it!" She folded her arms over her chest and turned away to pout.  
  
The Professor turned his attention to the others, "What do you want?"  
  
Scott began, "Well-"  
  
"Bring me the broom and I'll do it," The Professor cut him off.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Broom!" he said.  
  
"The Professor has spoken!" said The Professor and more fire shot up. Suddenly, a curtain behind the head caught on fire and began to burn. "You fool!" shouted The Professor to the source of the fire. St. John stopped shooting the fire around and stared at The Professor for a moment, then ran away, laughing insanely.  
  
The four left the room angry, annoyed, but mostly just confused. None of the spoke to each other the whole way out of Diamond City and through the poppy field. In fact, nobody said a word until they were halfway through the spooky woods.   
  
"So, how are we supposed to get the broom?" Kurt asked.  
  
Logan pulled out his claws and said in a sadistic, yet creepily excited voice, "Looks like we're going to have to kill the witch." Kitty gave him a stress ball. He began squeezing it until the evil glint disappeared from his eyes.  
  
"I think the best thing to do in this situation," Scott began rationally, "Is to go to where the witch is and take the broom."   
  
"Oh really?" said Kurt sarcastically, "That easy, huh? And I think the best solution to your heart situation is to just go and rip it out of someone's chest."   
  
Scott stared at him for a moment, and an expression of realization crossed his face, "You know, I never really thought of that..." Kurt raised a cloth eyebrow at him, then backed away slowly. Scott looked at Logan's chest and wondered how he could get the heart out of it.   
  
They had no more time to wonder how to get the broom before some of Wanda's monkey minions, Pietro, Lance, Todd, and Fred, all flew down from the sky. Pietro grabbed Kitty and began to fly away with her.   
  
"Where are you taking me," Kitty shrieked and struggled against the flying monkey.  
  
Pietro grinned and said, "To Wanda's castle."   
  
"Oh," Kitty sighed and relaxed. That was the exact place she had planned on going to, anyway, and this way she didn't have to walk. She smiled up at Pietro and said, "Thank you."   
  
Pietro scowled slightly. Of all the people to kidnap, he just had to get the one who actually liked being kidnapped. It completely took all of the fun out of it. The monkey sighed and used his super speed to get the terribly nice kidnapping over with.   
  
Meanwhile, Fred was also having an unusually easy time kidnapping Logan, whose stress ball had somehow put him in a euphoric oblivion.  
  
"Um..." Fred shifted the mountain man's weight around, "I'm kidnapping you and there's nothing you can do about it!"   
  
"That's nice..." Logan purred. Fred was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this assignment.   
  
At the moment, Lance and Todd were having a bit of trouble with Kurt and Scott. Their orders had been to simply destroy the scarecrow and the tin man. They thought it would easy but found that the victims were fleeing in terror. It was completely unexpected.   
  
Finally, Lance created an earthquake with his power and sent a pile of rocks tumbling down off a convienent cliff and on top of Scott. The rocks smashed the unfortunate tin man appart.   
  
Todd chased after Kurt as that was happening. Sometimes Todd would fly and sometimes he would hop, which made Kurt very confused. He had never been chased by a monkey/toad before and didn't exactly know how to deal with him. So he improvised and teleported himself around, just managing to stay out of the reach of Todd. Just as Kurt thought he was going to get away, Todd snagged a piece of the scarecrow's shirt and yanked hard on it. The shirt was pulled open and the straw inside Kurt flew out.  
  
"My straw! I need that to live!" Kurt yelled and tried to grab at the straw, but to no avail. Soon he was just a pile of German cloth.   
  
Todd and Lance smiled smugly at each other and flew away to tell Wanda what a good job they had done. Sometimes if they were really good she'd give them a cookie. The rest of the time she would just hit them a lot. They liked the cookies better.   
  
Back at Wanda's castle....   
  
"Wanda, I got the girl!" Pietro said as he threw Kitty onto the ground in front of the witch.   
  
"Good work, idiot," Wanda said and gave Pietro a cookie. He happily munched on it and flew out the window. Once he was sure she couldn't see him anymore, he stuck his tongue out at her. 'I sure showed HER!' Pietro thought proudly.  
  
Kitty pulled herself off the ground and faced Wanda, and said in the most assertive voice she could muster, "You have something I, like, want!"   
  
Wanda looked surprised for a moment, but then idea came to mind and she grinned down at Kitty, "What is it you want?"   
  
"Your broom," Kitty said, still trying to be assertive. She pointed at the broom Wanda was holding in her hand.   
  
Wanda looked from Kitty to the broom and wondered why anyone would want it. She shrugged and said, "Okay. But since this IS my only broom," she thought back to the whole closet full of other brooms, "Why don't we make a trade?" Kitty began to pull out her wallet, but Wanda stopped her, "I don't want your money. I want those shoes your wearing."   
  
"My shoes?" Kitty looked down at the shoes on her feet, "You mean these ruby ones I, like, got on sale at K-Mart?"   
  
"Exactly!" Wanda said. Kitty didn't see anything wrong with this trade. She didn't actually like the shoes. They were very ugly and she had only bought them because they matched that cute red dress she had. She took the shoes off her feet and exchanged them for the broom.   
  
As soon as the shoes were in her hands, Wanda began cackling evilly, and was about to unleash the shoes true powers, when Fred slammed the door open.  
  
"Wanda!" he said loudly, abruptly ending the witch's cackling, "I put the mountain man in your bedroom just like you told me to!"  
  
Wanda glared at him, "I told you to put him in the dungeon!"  
  
"Oh..." Fred looked down at his feet, "I thought dungeon was just another room for bedroom."   
  
"Idiot!" Wanda shouted. She pointed at Fred and Kitty, "You two stay here until I get back!" She pushed passed Fred and stormed out of the room.   
  
Fred and Kitty sat in silence for a moment. Kitty finally looked over at Fred and said, "I'm really thirsty. Could you get me, like, a bottle of water or something?"   
  
"Uh, okay," Fred said and exited, a few moments before Wanda reentered.  
  
"Now where was I?" Wanda said as she stepped back in. She picked up the shoes and began cackling again. The true power of the shoes was about to be released when Fred slammed into the room again.  
  
"I got the water!" he announced and handed it to Kitty.  
  
"Oh, thanks! It's, like, really good to finally have some real bottled water for a change," she exclaimed and began to drink it.  
  
"Well, actually," Fred said sheepishly, "We were out of bottled water so I just filled an empty one with tap water."   
  
Kitty immediately spit the water and tried not to freak out. "I can't drink tap water!" she shrieked, but was interrupted when she noticed Wanda screaming. She looked over and saw that she had accidentally spit all of the water on the witch. "I'm sorry," she said, "Is that, like, a new cape?"   
  
Wanda continued screaming and her body began to smoke. Kitty watched in disgust as the witch melted.  
  
Fred and Kitty stared at where Wanda once stood. Neither knew exactly what to say. So they didn't say anything. They just walked in separate directions, never to see each other again.  
  
Kitty found Logan and both went out in search of Kurt and Scott but all they could find was a big pile of metal and a few pieces of cloth. Instead they just built a new Kurt and Scott. They were almost exactly the same, except that Kitty decided to make Kurt a girl this time.  
  
Once they were all reunited, they traveled back to Diamond City to see The Professor.   
  
"So," said The Professor after he had heard the entire story of how Wanda had been defeated, "You threw water on her and she melted? It seems a little too convenient. Go back and kill her again. This time, make it more exciting."   
  
Kitty looked at him in shock, "But-"  
  
"You all have to leave now," Jean said as she directed the four out of the room, "It's time for The Professor's nap."   
  
The four left the building in disappointment.   
  
"What are we supposed to do now?" asked Kurt. Nobody knew the answer except Scott, but he decided to keep not mention anything.   
  
They were all in the middle of feeling sorry for themselves, when the good witch of the North floated down in her bubble.   
  
"So how did it go with The Professor?" she asked.  
  
"Terrible!" Kitty groaned, "You said he'd help me and he didn't!"   
  
Rogue shrugged, "Well, what do you want from me? I'm just a witch."   
  
"If your a witch, can't you help me get a heart?" asked Scott.   
  
"Sure, why not?" Rogue pulled a heart out of her pocket and handed it to him. He looked at it in disgust for a moment, then walked away to figure out how to put it in his chest.   
  
"What about me?" Logan demanded, "I was going to ask him to help me not scare everyone off."   
  
"Here," Rogue said and handed him a new stress ball. Logan squeezed it a couple times, got a large smile across his face, then walked away to make some friends.   
  
Kurt stepped forward, "And me? Can you fix my... being a scarecrow?"   
  
Rogue stared at the scarecrow for a moment. She had remembered Kurt being a boy scarecrow before. She shook her head, then said, "But why would a pretty scarecrow like you want to be anything else? Come on, lets go braid your hair!"  
  
Kurt giggled, "Okay!" And the two skipped off.   
  
"Hold on!" Kitty yelled after them, "What about me!?"  
  
"Use the shoes! They have powers!" Rogue called back at her before she and Kurt disappeared out of site.   
  
Kitty looked down at her feet, only then remembering giving Wanda her magical shoes. Now what would she do? How would she get home? Would she ever get to see Popo again? How would her socks stay clean without shoes? She was all alone now because her friends were actually happy. The jerks.  
  
She knew what she had to do. She had to live here in this strange land and make a place for herself. Maybe she would become the new wicked witch. That's right, she would go back and get her shoes, release their evil power and...  
  
"Hey there's my house!" Kitty exclaimed as she saw the farm. Turns out, the tornado had only moved it a few feet to the left.   
  
With that, Kitty woke up. She rubbed her eyes and looked around her room. There was no farm, no witches, no shoes...   
  
"Weird," she said and went back to sleep.  
  
Meanwhile, the professor was sitting quietly, thinking over what he had just seen. He decided that it would be best to not think about it and instead forget he had ever seen it.   
  
______________________  
  
End, part one.   
  
*groans* That was so much longer than it should have been. I promise I won't drag the next ones on quite so long. There's far to many people for me to go through to be having nearly 20 pages for each one.   
  
Anyway, reviews are always good. Give me lots or I'll.... I'll... Ah, I don't care. 


	3. Kurt's Dream

Answering reviews is fun. I think I'll do more... if it's incentive for you to review more the I'll answer all your questions and worship for me. Thanks to all who have reviewed my story thus far. Reviews are all I have left in life. That and everything else that I have.   
  
Taineyah: "I wanna see Rogue in an Anne Rice novel! Please? Or the movie queen of the damned? I know, you've probably got her all picked out, but it was worth asking. Oh, y'know what 'd be even funnier? Rogue as a powerpuff girl!" An Anne Rice novel would be very fitting for Rogue. Unfortunately we're not allowed to write about Anne Rice novels on fanfiction.net. Anne Rice herself told them to not allow it. Also, I've got an idea for her already. Not in this chapter, but I'll probably do her next. Rogue as Powerpuff Girl... She'd kill me just for thinking about it.  
  
CrypticIdentity: "How 'bout... Kurt is Neo from the Matrix, and the Professor is the Architect! No, that's been parodied too much " When I first was coming up with ideas for this fanfic I told myself not to use something that's been parodied a lot already, but I've seen at least one parody for the whole lot of them. Of course, I'm not going to use any of the jokes I've seen on those because that's stupid and unoriginal (not that any parody is all that original in the first place) Anyway, The Matrix did come up once but I quickly put that idea aside. I don't know too much about The Matrix and I've seen that parodied more than anything else. It was funny the first couple times but now they're just really annoying. I'm mad at myself for some of the ones I'm using just because some of them have been parodied a lot, but I wanted to choose stuff that people would easily recognize. Long story short, even though TV ruined my imagination, I still have my limits.   
  
Anyway, if you guys still want to throw some suggestions into the mix, the only character I have absolutely no ideas for is Pietro. He's even my favorite character but I've got nothing! I originally had an idea for him, but I ended up giving it to some other character.   
  
I'm also a bit iffy on Scott and Fred's. I've got some stuff lined up for them in case I can't think of anything better, though, so I'm not going to be fretting it.   
  
Okay, enough ranting. Lets do this thing.  
  
-Hizzy  
  
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The professor decided to get his mind off Kitty's strange dream by moving on to somebody else. Who would it be this time? He went through their minds quickly and found that Kurt was just beginning one of his dreams, and decided that he might as well take a look.  
  
At first the professor couldn't make anything out, but after a moment or so he realized that the dream was taking place on a plane. The rest of the dream began to unfold:  
  
Kurt took his seat next to the window and looked around nervously. The flight wasn't all that busy but all of the other passengers were making a lot of noise. He was glad that Evan had decided to come with him on his trip to Germany. He didn't want to tell anyone, but he really didn't like flying all that much since he had seen Alive. Sure, he had found the movie extremely hilarious, what with the eating people and all, but it kind of ruined the whole prospect of flying. On the other side of the aisle next to Evan, he noticed a suspicious looking man stroking a handgun.  
  
Kurt leaned over to the man and said, "Are you nervous about this flight, too?"  
  
The man looked at him in anger, "What is THAT supposed to mean? Are you accusing me of something."  
  
"Nothing!" Kurt said quickly, "I just meant that I'm a little uneasy when I'm on planes and you looked like you-"  
  
"Shut up! Shut up!" The man shouted, "Now everyone knows! Are you happy!?"  
  
Kurt was very confused, "What are you-"  
  
The man jumped out of his seat and pointed the gun at Kurt's face, "I'll kill you!"   
  
Before the man could follow through, a flight attendant tapped him on the shoulder and said in a very polite voice, "Excuse me, sir, but we have a 'no gun' policy. You'll have to put that away."   
  
"Oh, sorry," said the man and shoved the gun in his pocket. The flight attendant smiled and walked away. The man sat down and glared at Kurt, "I'm still going to kill you."   
  
Evan snickered next to him, "Smooth move."  
  
Kurt sighed and stared glumly out the window. The plane hadn't even taken off yet and he'd already managed to become the target of a convict, according to the man's prison uniform and handcuffs still attached to his wrists. Instead, Kurt focused on a different plane that was taking off at that moment. He thought, 'See? That plane is taking off just fine. It's completely safe.'   
  
Just then the other plane exploded. Kurt's eyes widened and he looked away from the window. He felt his whole body tense up when his own plane began to take off. His hands dug into the armrests, but other than that, he didn't move an inch, except for his heart which beating so hard that he was sure it would explode out of his chest like that alien did in the movie Alien. He thought that was a very cool part in the movie and he was so busy thinking about it that he forgot all about being nervous. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, he felt something hit the back of his head. He looked down and saw that it had been a cookie. Behind him, he saw a little boy, with a handful of cookies. When the little boy saw Kurt's accusing eye on him, he pointed at the elderly woman sitting next to him. Kurt rolled his eyes and turned back around. Little did he know, it really was the elderly woman who had thrown the cookie.  
  
Kurt went back to staring out the window. The sky was full of dark clouds and he couldn't see anything beyond the wing of the plane. As he was staring miserably into the storm outside, he noticed something on the wing. He squinted to make it out, and was shocked to see it moving.   
  
Kurt shook Evan's arm, "I see something on the wing!"   
  
"It's called an engine," Evan muttered.  
  
"No, I'm serious!" Kurt jumped out of his seat, "There's something on the wing of the plane!"  
  
The convict stood abruptly and aimed his gun at Kurt again, "Now you die!" He was interrupted when the flight attendant tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Sir, we've been through this before," she said and pointed at a 'no guns' sign.   
  
For a moment the man got a thoughtful look on his face and he said, "What about knives? Can I use one of those?"   
  
The flight attendant considered this. She looked over at another flight attendant, who only shrugged. "I'll have to check the manual," she said finally and walked away.   
  
The man watched her leave, then leaned over Kurt with a serious expression. "When she gets back," he said, "I'll cut you good."   
  
Kurt wasn't listening. He was staring out the window at the thing. Was it a person? Maybe it was some sort of animal. What was it doing out there? It almost looked as if the thing was trying to pull apart the wing. Then a thought came to Kurt. It was quite obviously a gremlin. Everyone knew that gremlins destroyed aircrafts. If Kurt had learned anything from the movie Gremlins, it was that he shouldn't feed it because it was after midnight. He was in the middle of wondering why the rain wasn't affecting it, when the stewardess came back to inform the crazy man that knives were only to be used for cutting steak or dealing with elderly folks who wouldn't shut up.   
  
"Damn!" said the man and stabbed his knife into the armrest. He cast a glance at an old woman who had started up an unwanted conversation with a different stewardess, but the man decided against using the knife.   
  
"Uh, miss?" Kurt called after the stewardess as she was turning to leave, "Did you know there's a gremlin on the wing of the plane?"   
  
She stared at him for a moment, then started laughing. Then everyone started laughing. They all pointed at Kurt and laughed for a few minutes, until some old guy started having a hard attack, and everyone focused their laughter at him instead. It went on for another forty-five minutes. By that time the old man's heart attack had subsided and he had gone to sleep. There were still a few people chuckling, but they were mostly just remember the look on the man's face when he had been having the heart attack.   
  
Kurt looked over at Evan, "You believe me, don't you?"  
  
Evan sighed, "Look, you're probably just on edge from our movie marathon last night. You know: Alive, Gremlins, Alien, The Twilight Zone Movie...."  
  
Kurt looked out the window and didn't see the thing out there anymore. He relaxed in his chair, "I guess you're right." He was glad that they hadn't gotten around to watching Con Air, because then he'd think there was some convict threatening to kill him. He cast a tentative glance to the seat next to Evan and saw the convict, who was currently glaring at him, and moved a finger across his throat, making a cutting noise. Kurt slumped in his seat.   
  
Yawning, Evan looked at his watch. It was already very late. "Hey, man, I'm gonna go to sleep, okay?"   
  
"Ja," Kurt nodded, "Me too." He leaned his pillow against the window and snuggled up against it. It wasn't long before he was asleep. He dreamt about some kid with strange powers, who manipulated his life to become more like a cartoon. It was a very strange dream. Kurt woke up with a start. He saw that Evan was still sleeping and cast a hazy glance at his watch, showing that he had only been asleep for little more than an hour. He yawned and considered going back to sleep, but decided against it. He pulled his pillow away from the window, but his blood ran cold at what he saw just outside the window. The gremlin had it's face pushed up against the window and it looked as if it was trying to claw it's way in. Kurt shrieked and fell out of his seat.   
  
Evan stirred and looked down at Kurt, "Wuzza?"   
  
"The gremlin..." Kurt pointed a shaking finger at the window but the gremlin was already gone.   
  
Just then, the pilot burst out of the cock pit, "I heard screaming. Is there something wrong?"   
  
"Oh, nothing," one of the stewardesses said in annoyance, "This young man here just thinks he saw a gremlin."   
  
"A gremlin!?" The pilot scoffed and burst out laughing. Then everyone pointed at Kurt and laughed.   
  
Kurt pulled himself back into his seat and looked out the window. He saw the gremlin out there, and this time it was clawing at one of the engines. Kurt tried to tell them but they all just kept laughing.  
  
The stewardess wiped a tear from her eye, then seemed to have a thought and her laughed died down, "Ah, Larry?"   
  
The pilot was still chuckling, "Yes, Janice?"   
  
"Who's flying the plane?" she asked.   
  
Larry rolled his eyes, "The co-pilot. Do you honestly think that I'm daft enough to leave the controls unattended?"   
  
At that moment, the co-pilot emerged from the bathroom, "I heard laughing. Did that old guy have another heart attack?" Everyone burst into more fits of laughter, except for Kurt, Larry, and the aforementioned old guy, who was indeed having a heart attack. Larry looked around nervously, then hurried back into the cock pit, hoping nobody had noticed that the plane had plummeted dangerously low.   
  
Kurt ignored everyone's laughter as he stared out the window in horror as one of the engines shot sparks out of it and died. The gremlin moved on to the next engine.   
  
"The engine! The gremlin just ruined that engine!" Kurt pointed frantically out the window, but everyone just laughed harder.   
  
"Oh man!" Evan was clutching his side from laughing, "You're too funny!"   
  
"I'm serious! We're all going to die!" It was hopeless to convince anyone of anything when they only laughed harder at anything that was said. Kurt knew he had to do something. He couldn't just sit around and wait for the gremlin to kill them all. As much as he hated all the people in the plane for laughing at him, the didn't deserve to die. Except for the convict, who had been sentenced to death in the first place.   
  
Kurt looked over at the convict, who was laughing too hard to shoot the gun he had in his hand. He grabbed the gun from the convicts hand. He knew what he had to do. First, he would shoot the window out, then go out there and shoot the gremlin, then he'd force the gremlin to apologize to everyone. He hadn't really thought the whole plan through, but he was sure it would work because it was completely not something a crazy person would do.   
  
Of course, he hadn't taken into account the whole being high up in the air in an airplane thing. Nobody noticed his actions at first, as they had all taken to laughing at the poor old heart-attack-prone man, but they certainly noticed after the first shot rang out and window next to Kurt smashed into pieces. Then all hell broke loose. Many people began screaming, others laughed harder, one man ran around on fire, Kurt continued shooting out the window and yelling at the gremlin about how it was ruining his whole trip, Evan went back to sleep, St. John was setting more people on fire. Then, the pilot and co-pilot burst out of the cock-pit. Larry started throwing hand-grenades around and the co-pilot dumped hot coffee into some girl's lap. She would later sue him for millions.   
  
It went on like that for a very, very, needlessly long amount of time. Eventually, the plane managed to land itself safely on the ground. The chaos went on for a couple more hours, until everyone realized that they had landed and exited the plane in an orderly fashion.   
  
Kurt found himself in a straight jacket, being loaded into an ambulance.   
  
"Wait! I'm not crazy! The gremlin tried to kill us!" Kurt pleaded desperately, "Just go look at the damage!"   
  
"We saw it," said a police officer, "It was all caused by your shooting."   
  
Another officer nodded, "That's right, the bullets smashed the engine, then they made those claw marks all over the wing, then crapped on it."   
  
"But bullets can't-"  
  
"Get him out of here," said the first officer, shaking his head at Kurt's craziness.   
  
Kurt struggled in vain, "Evan! Tell them I'm not crazy!"   
  
Evan looked at Kurt, then at the officers, "He's crazy. Really crazy. Hey, Kurt, where do you keep your DVDs?"   
  
The paramedics loaded Kurt into the back of ambulance and began to drive him away. Kurt lay in his straight jacket and finally gave up on struggling.   
  
He saw the gremlin sitting next to him and said to it, "You know, nobody believes you exist except for me."   
  
"Oh, of course they do," said the gremlin, "And they're always after me Lucky Charms."   
  
At this point, the professor got himself out of Kurt's dream as fast as he could, before it could develop any further. He shook his head and reminded himself to make sure the students didn't get any more sweets before they went to sleep.  
  
____________________________________________  
  
End: dream 2. I'm not sure about that one. Although, I like the concept of a dream within a dream. That was pretty rad. I wonder if I can dream in my dreams.   
  
I wouldn't blame any of you for not reviewing this chapter, as it was a bit off, but I hope you will just the same. I need you. I'll be your friend. 


	4. Jean's Dream Part 1

I apologize for taking so long with this. I've been very lazy but instead of just coming out and saying that, I'd rather give you an excuse that makes me look better. I didn't work on this chapter because I was busy fundraising for the poor starving little orphans. That was completely what I was doing. _  
  
I'm trying to put these chapters together in a logical order, but I suppose there is nothing logical about the fanfic in general. I'm kind of scared to write Rogue's chapter. The Rogue fans are very intimidating.   
  
[I moved my responses to reviews at the bottom, btw]  
  
-Hizzy  
  
________________________________________________  
  
The professor contemplated who's dream to view next. Kitty and Kurt's dreams had both been rather odd and more than a little disturbing. Then he had a thought. Jean was always so levelheaded. Certainly SHE would have a normal dream. He had enjoyed her dreams from the previous nights. He mentally moved into her mind and waited patiently for a dream to begin.   
  
In a couple of minutes he saw one begin:  
  
As the dream opened, Jean was no where to be seen, but instead there was a group of men sitting around a table playing poker. Two of the players were Scott and Kurt. They exchanged glances, and finally Kurt sighed. He tossed his cards down and folded. A couple of the other players folded as well.   
  
Across the table from Scott and Kurt, Remy kept a straight face as he laid down his hand and said, "Royal flush."  
  
There was a moment of suspense as all the players looked to Scott, who had yet to put down his hand. He looked from Kurt to Remy, then laid down his cards, "Super flush."   
  
Kurt jumped up and cheered as he smacked Scott on the back and collected their winnings. A groan passed through the other players. They had bet everything. Who would have thought that Scott would be able to beat a royal flush with the newly invented 'super flush'? The only had that can beat that is a 'Mega-Ultra-Special Flush'. Remy was angered at his turn of luck and all of the cards exploded.  
  
"Not again!" shouted one of the players, "That was our last deck!" Remy scratched his head and shrugged.   
  
Kurt looked down at the tickets they had won, "I can't believe we're going to ride the Titanic! We're going to America!"   
  
"You'll never make it," said Piotr as he tried to cheer Remy up, "It leaves in five minutes."   
  
"Oh no!" Kurt said, feigning shock. He grabbed Scott's arm and transported them both to the Titanic's dock.   
  
The ran quickly up to board but where stopped by a man who was checking tickets. He looked at the tickets briefly and looked up at the two, "Have you been checked for lice?" He said this especially to Kurt as he looked over his furry body.   
  
Kurt looked nervous for a moment, then quickly transported onto the ship.   
  
Meanwhile, a fancy car pulled up next to the dock. A man stepped out of the front and opened the back door. Jean began to step out of the door, but the giant hat she was wearing got stuck. She looked annoyed for a moment, then opted to put on a different, smaller hat. Finally, she emerged and took the offered hand of her fiancé.   
  
"Duncan, darling," she said, looking at the ship, "Why are we not using the private jet?"   
  
"Because, Jean," he muttered in annoyance, "This will prove to everyone how rich we are. Besides, we certainly won't die if we ride the Titanic."   
  
She looked distastefully at the ship, "Well... I suppose it's alright."   
  
The couple, followed by Jean's parents, began to board and were stopped to have their tickets checked.  
  
"Have you been checked for lice?" the man asked casually.  
  
Jean was very offended and slapped him. She stormed passed him as he hesitantly looked at Duncan and Jean's parents, then pass without asking them the same question. He wondered why nobody liked being asked if they had been checked for lice.  
  
Meanwhile, Scott and Kurt found their way to their room. They paid no attention to the two other roommates as they began to unpack their things and make plans to convert the other two men's area of the room into a mini bar.  
  
Lance stared at Scott and Kurt, then looked at Pietro and asked, "Where's Remy and Piotr?" Pietro shrugged, uninterested. He had planned on making Remy and Piotr's half of the room into a mini bar, anyway.  
  
Soon after, Scott found himself wandering up to the deck to take a look around. He sat down on a bench and watched the other passengers. At that moment, he noticed an old man beginning to have a heart attack. The man also happened to be the same old guy from Kurt's dream.   
  
Scott felt inspired and pulled out his doodle pad and began to draw the old man. He was getting very much into the drawing and putting a lot of detail into it, when suddenly the tip on his crayon broke. Looking sadly down at the unfinished picture, he knew that it could never be completed without the red crayon.   
  
The whole incident with the drawing had gotten Scott down and he was planning to head back inside when something else caught his eye. It was a beautiful girl. He was beginning to feel inspired again, but then he saw that she was wearing a red dress and remembered that the red crayon had been broken. Of course, he could just as easily drew the dress blue, but that would be absurd. Who wears blue dresses these days?   
  
Jean was enjoying the sites when she noticed Scott staring at her. She knew he was only a lowly third class passenger. How dare he look at somebody as rich as her! She quickly gave him the finger and stomped away with her chin held up.   
  
"She's way out of your league," Kurt said from behind Scott, making him jump.  
  
Scott glared at him, "What do you mean by that!?"  
  
"She's a first class passenger!" Kurt explained, "The chances of you getting her to like you are as likely as this ship hitting an iceberg and sinking!"   
  
Scott sighed. Everybody knew that icebergs were just an urban legend. There was no chance of Jean liking him.   
  
Kurt seemed to notice his friend's depression and put an arm around him, "Oh, don't worry! Us third class passengers are having a big party tonight. You should go invite her."   
  
"But you just said she-" but Scott couldn't get the rest out before Kurt transported himself away, leaving his confused friend to his thoughts.  
  
Later that night, Jean was attending a fancy dinner party with her family. She sat quietly, listening to the conversation between her parents and the queen of England.   
  
"Blah blah blah, blah," said her father.  
  
The queen contemplated this and finally replied, "Blah. Blah blah blah blah."   
  
"Blah blah blah, blah blah blah," added her mother.  
  
"Blah!" Duncan said suddenly, and everyone laughed except for Jean. She stopped paying attention back at 'blah blah.'   
  
She pushed away from the table and announced, "I'm going to go jump off the back of the ship now."  
  
"That's nice, dear," said her father.   
  
With that Jean ran out of the room, sobbing. She ran around in circles for a while, through the second class area, once through the engine room, around the captain a couple times, and finally to the deck. Once at the railing, she looked down at the ocean. 'This is the only way,' she thought to herself. If only there was an exciting, handsome, third class passenger that could come have an affair with her. That would certainly cheer her up. But that was obviously not going to happen. She pulled herself over the railing and prepared herself to jump.   
  
"Don't do it!" she heard suddenly from behind her. She turned and saw Scott standing on the deck.   
  
"Stay away from me, peasant!" she shouted.  
  
Scott held his hands out, "No, wait! You don't want to jump off there! You could die!"   
  
"What!?" Jean screamed and clung to the railing, "Help me!" He ran to her and grabbed her before she had a chance to fall down and get eaten by dolphins. She began to giggle, "I was just kidding. I wasn't really going to jump in the first place."   
  
He smiled sheepishly at her and playfully shoved her, and said lightheartedly, "Oh you!" Unfortunately, the shove was a lot harder than he had intended it to be and she fell off the rail. He gulped and looked around nervously. There wasn't anybody watching except for this guy who had been planning to push Jean off the rail anyway. Scott began attempting a casual getaway, while whistling 'My Heart Will Go On.' Just then, Jean finally managed to levitate herself back up to the ship.   
  
Scott breathed in relief, "You had me worried! I thought you had-" He wasn't able to finish before she slapped him.  
  
"You jerk!" she shouted and began to hit him more, "I almost died! Thanks a lot!"  
  
"Um... your welcome?" he tried, but she didn't receive that well and proceeded to push him onto the ground and was about to slap him again when she noticed that her parents and Duncan had come out to the deck in search of her.  
  
"Jean!" her mother gasped, "Were you about to hurt that young man?"   
  
Jean quickly stepped away from him, and stuttered for an explanation, "It's not what you think! It just... Well, he... And then I... He was putting the moves on me! Get him, Duncan!"  
  
Duncan was the insanely jealous type. He had been known to punch anybody who so much as touched Jean, but this was obviously beyond just a punch. Instead, he pulled out a gun and began shooting in ever direction, all the while running around and screaming like a maniac. That went on until he fell off the side of the boat and got eaten by dolphins. Nobody cared or even noticed.   
  
Jean's father looked over at Scott, who was still on the ground trying not to lose consciousness. "What a charming young man!" Jean's father commented, "You simply must join us for dinner tonight!"   
  
Scott looked tentatively at Jean, who had forgotten that she was very angry with him and was smiling pleasantly. After thinking it over and knowing full well that Jean might beat him up again if he refused, and he finally nodded his head.  
  
"Splendid!" exclaimed the father. He and his wife exited.  
  
"So, what time is dinner?" Scott asked.  
  
Jean looked at him disgustedly, "You aren't planning on going to dinner dressed like that, are you? You're supposed to dress up for it."  
  
Scott looked down at his outfit, "But I am dressed up."   
  
She looked skeptically at the leisure suit he was wearing, "Um... I have a better idea. My friend Kitty just suddenly became very rich last week. I'm sure she'll spring for a nice outfit for you."   
  
"Well, okay," Scott said disappointedly, still not knowing what was wrong with his clothes. The started off in the direction of Kitty's room. "So, how is it that your friend got rich, anyway?" Scott asked as they finally got the room.   
  
"Lottery," Jean said as she knocked on the door, "But don't worry, she hasn't let it go to her head." The door opened with Kitty on the other side. She was wearing a dress made out of hundred dollar bills and had a very expensive looking tiara on her head.  
  
"Hi, Kitty," Jean said, trying not to look appalled.   
  
"Call me Princess," Kitty corrected.  
  
"No," Jean said with a grimace.   
  
Kitty ignored that and grinned, "I'm glad you're here! I've got so much money that it'll be a nice change to be around people poorer than me."   
  
Jean scowled, "My family has at least three times as much money than you."   
  
"Yeah, sure," Kitty rolled her eyes and pulled Jean in the door. She looked over at Scott, "Who's your friend?"   
  
"He's some guy who almost killed me," Jean said flatly.   
  
Kitty smiled at him, "You look homeless. Come on in and I'll get you a really expensive sandwich." Scott would be offended, but he did like sandwiches, so he didn't bother defending himself.  
  
"Okay, here's the thing," Jean said as soon as they had seated themselves on Kitty's gold-plated, diamond-stuffed couch, "Scott here is going to be coming to dinner tonight and... well, look at him!"   
  
Kitty nodded as she looked at him, "I see what you mean. Well, luckily one of my many, many butlers has an extra suit that I think would fit." Scott didn't want to look like a butler, but it really would be a step up for him so he agreed.   
  
After many exciting, very interesting, but secret adventures, Jean and Scott finally arrived for dinner. At the table they were seated at were Jean's parents, Kitty, the queen of England, and Ritchie Rich.   
  
"I feel out of place here," Scott whispered to Jean.  
  
"It's okay," Jean said, "Just remain calm and don't mention how poor you are."  
  
"No, I mean I'm out of place," Scott said and motioned to the spot he was at, which was a very elaborate throne with 'The Queen' inscribed on it. He noticed the queen of England standing next to him, glaring, and quickly offered up the spot. Instead, he opted for the seat on the other side of Jean.   
  
"They're bringing our food out now," Jean said and pointed at the waiters.  
  
Scott smiled, "So what are we having?"  
  
"McDonalds," Jean said and grabbed a Big Mac, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," Scott said as he took an offered pack of McNuggets, "I just thought that we would be eating some more... high class."   
  
Jean stared at him, a glob of mayonnaise smeared across her cheek, "What are you talking about? This is about as high class as it comes." Scott was still very confused but decided not to push it.   
  
Dinner proceeded without any problems. An hour after finishing his food, Scott leaned over to Jean, "We've already finished eating... When can we leave?"   
  
"It's considered bad manners to leave the table first," Jean told him, "We need to wait for somebody else to leave."   
  
At the moment, the queen and Ritchie Rich were in a heated argument about who was richer: Bill Gates or Scrooge McDuck. The argument didn't seem to be going anywhere.  
  
"What do you think, Kitty? Who's richer?" Ritchie finally asked.  
  
Kitty thought about it for a moment than replied, "I am!"  
  
"That's it!" the queen threw her arms up, "I'm outta here!" With that, she stormed away.   
  
"Now's our chance!" Jean shouted, "Wanna go sit in the back of a care and make out?"   
  
"Wha-" Scott began but was dragged away. The made their way out to the deck. The only other people out there were the two watchmen in the crows nest.   
  
"This is boring, yo," Todd said from his post up in the crows nest. Fred was too busy trying to figure out how the crows nest didn't break under his weight, let alone how he could fit in it. Todd looked out at the ocean, "Sure are a lot of icebergs."   
  
"Seriously, though!" Fred suddenly exclaimed, "What is this thing MADE of?"  
  
It was at that moment that Todd noticed a huge iceberg right in the path of the ship. He stared at it for a moment, then elbowed Fred, "Hey, we're gonna hit that iceberg, yo."   
  
Fred stared at it, "Isn't that kinda bad?"   
  
Todd scratched his head and stared at it for a while longer, "Didn't the captain tell us that we were supposed to watch out for them?"   
  
"I thought he told us to make sure nobody touched his stash," Fred said in confusion.   
  
He scratched his head again, "Well, he said a lot of things."   
  
Just then, they heard Jean's voice from below, "Look, Scott, we're going to hit that iceberg!"   
  
"That's really bad!" Scott shouted.   
  
Fred and Todd looked at each other. Todd scratched his head once more, Fred ate a pie. "He said that it's really bad," Todd said in slight realization, "So we should probably tell somebody."  
  
Fred looked down and Jean and Scott, "Well, they already know. Maybe they'll tell someone."   
  
"But it's our job to tell somebody," Todd reasoned. Before they could debate it any longer, the ship finally hit the iceberg. Todd and Fred exchanged glances.  
  
"So... should we still tell someone?" Fred asked.  
  
"They'll figure it out," Todd shrugged and leaned back in his spot.   
  
______________________________  
  
To be continued...  
  
End part 1 of Jean's dream.   
  
On the next episode of Keep Dreaming: "Oh no! The Titanic is sinking! Who would have guessed?"   
  
Desert-Rose6: "Okay I the almighty Desert-Rose6 have an inspiring parody for Scott. Have you ever read Lord of the Flies? ~Laughs evilly~ Mwah-ha-ha Mwah-haa-ha-ha!"  
  
-Er... should I have? You're not going to kill me if I haven't, are you? *is afraid*  
  
Flamekiller: "I give you the Three Letters and Three Exclamation Points Award. Or, for short: LOL!"   
  
-Squee! I'd like to thank all the little people I had to step on to get here! Also, I'd like to thank the monkeys who actually wrote the fanfic for me!  
  
Dolly: "Rogue's dream should be a messed up 'Gone With the Wind" or um... I dunno... a dream where everyone dies... I like those dreams,... DIE PREPPY CHEERLEADERS! DIE! Jean should have a dream where she dies or is suddenly un-perfect. Y'know? Really ugly. And stupid. DAMN YOU JEAN! Needs more Gambit... You've had Piotr, and Pyro TWICE DAMMIT!"   
  
-*edges away from Dolly, slowly* Gambit will have a guest appearance in this chapter... And we've got to have Pyro... he's PYRO! He laughs crazily and sets things on fire! I mean, COME ON! I'm not going to give him his own dream... but I'm sure we can all imagine how it would be:  
  
*pyro's dream*  
  
PYRO: *laughing crazily and setting things on fire*  
  
*end dream*  
  
Shadow-Spider: "Oh God! lol! I'm Gonna DIE LAUGHING! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"   
  
-Oh no! I'm losing valuable readers to death! BREATH! *line on heart rate monitor goes flat* Uh-oh... *looks around nervously, then sets SS up in a chair and edges away*  
  
Taineyah: "And I forgot about the "No Anne Rice" thing... sorry."   
  
-You'd better be! *shakes fist* Nah, I'm just kidding. *gives you a birthday cake*   
  
SperryDee: "picture this: Maximoff. Pietro Maximof. (ala James Bond, with Evan as the villain). With Tabby, Kitty, and Rogue as the Bond (or in this case, Maximoff) girls. Like it?"  
  
-You know... that's just crazy enough to work! I very much like this idea. I would, however, probably have to watch a James Bond movie... ^^;; It's been a very long time and my memory is less than perfect.   
  
latin-mutant: "About Pietro, maybe he could dream he's a turtle, or one of those dreams where you run and run and run and run... but don't seem to move from the same spot"   
  
-I have comment on that, but I can't say anything cause it would spoil an upcoming dream. _  
  
_  
  
Shhhhhh! 


	5. Jean's Dream Part 2

Okay, I know I tend to babble on and on for a very long time at the beginning of each chapter and it keeps you from reading my fanfic. It's probably just kind of annoying for you, but let me explain why I do that. I love you. Yes you. I'm not talking to any of the other readers; just you. My life is not complete without you...  
  
Or your precious, precious reviews.  
  
Just a note to those readers who are easily offended. There are character deaths in this chapter. A lot of them. Some are very direct, some are simply suggested. Just because a character dies, that does not mean I don't like them. In fact, I very much like some of the characters that will die. This entire fanfic is intended to not be taken seriously. That's all I have to say on the matter.   
  
-Hizzy  
  
_____________________________________________________  
  
"Um.... captain?" Todd poked his head into the captain's quarters. The professor was staring out the window and didn't say anything. Todd decided to continue anyway, "I hate to say this, yo, but we hit an iceberg."   
  
The professor still didn't look at him, but finally replied, "Yes, I know."   
  
"Oh," Todd hesitated in the doorway for a moment, "So... aren't you going to do anything about it?"  
  
After a moment of silence, the professor, still not look at him, tossed something at Todd, "Go fix it."   
  
Todd looked down at the roll of duct tape, "Um, no offense or nothing, but I don't think this will fix it, yo..."  
  
The professor finally turned to face him, "I'm the captain. I know what's best." Todd timidly nodded and backed out of the room. The professor went back to staring out the window.  
  
Meanwhile, on the deck, Scott and Jean were busy panicking.  
  
"Quick," Jean said, "Lets go back to my room."  
  
Scott looked uncertainly at her, "Why?"  
  
Jean sighed impatiently, "Look, if we're going to die, we might as well die in style." He continued staring at her until she finally dragged him off to her room.   
  
"But, Jean," Scott tried, "We need to hurry and get on to one of the life boats. There's only five of them and they fill up fast. Just grab something really valuable so we can sell it and start our new lives."   
  
Jean pulled something out of her pocket, "What about this necklace I stole from Kitty? It looks like it's worth a lot."   
  
"Perfect," Scott said, "Now grab that naked picture I drew of you and lets get out of here."   
  
"Naked picture!?" she exclaimed.  
  
"Uh... never mind," Scott mumbled and began to pull her away.   
  
Just then a man popped up from behind the couch and slapped a handcuff onto Scott's wrist, "You're under arrest!"   
  
"But I didn't do anything!" Scott shouted.  
  
"Hey!" the man jerked him away from Jean, "Who's the cop here? Me or you?"  
  
"You," sighed Scott.  
  
"No, actually, I'm not," the man said and began dragging him away, "But I've always wanted to be one. You're going to jail. Directly to jail. Do not pass go do not collect two hundred dollars." With that, the man dragged Scott to one of the lower levels and locked him up to a pipe.   
  
Jean decided that since she had nothing better to do, she'd go rescue Scott. She followed the sound of his pitiful cries for help and easily found him.  
  
"Hurry, Jean, use that key to unlock me!" Scott motioned to a key sitting nearby.   
  
Jean briefly looked at it, "I have a better idea." She pulled out an axe and held it up, ready to chop.  
  
"Wait!" Scott's eyes widened and he tried to hide behind the pipe.  
  
"Don't worry!" Jean assured, "I chop stuff all the time! I'm really good at it."   
  
"Well, okay..." Scott said, slightly assured.   
  
"On the other hand..." Jean paused, "This would be great practice for my telekinetic powers." She closed her eyes and let go of the axe as it began to unsteadily float in front of her.  
  
Scott didn't have any time to object before the axe went flying towards his head. He quickly dodged and it hit the wall behind him.   
  
Jean opened her eyes, and scowled, "You moved!"   
  
He looked down at the handcuffs helplessly, "Oh, if only I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes..." He stopped and thought about it for a moment, "Wait a minute, I can!" With that, he freed himself from the handcuffs and they both ran out the door.   
  
Shortly after, they caught up with Kurt, Lance, and Pietro at a gate intended to keep the poor people from trying to save themselves.   
  
Kurt noticed the two and grinned, "There you are. Come on, lets get out of here." He grabbed Scott and Jean by the arms and transported them to the other side of the gate.  
  
"Hey, what about us!?" Pietro shouted. The three stared at him for a moment, then ran off in the other direction. Pietro yelled at them and called them bad words but for some reason that only made them run faster. He finally gave up and looked at Lance, "Well, now what?"   
  
"I dunno," Lance said, "Wanna play checkers?"   
  
Pietro looked at the foot of water they were standing in, then he looked at the gate, then shrugged, "Yeah, okay." They walked back to their room.   
  
On deck, there was a very large crowd trying to get to the lifeboats.   
  
"Listen up," Logan, who had been put in charge of assisting people to the lifeboats, "We only have two lifeboats left-" At that particular moment, Pyro ran up, set one of the lifeboats on fire, then ran away laughing. Logan continued, "We only have one lifeboat left. Most of you are going to die." At this, the crowd began to panic. "I'll be choosing who gets to live." He allowed a mother and her child on to the boat, then stopped the father, "Not you." He threw the man off the boat into the water. He allowed a little boy on board then tossed the boy's grandmother into the water.   
  
"Oh no! Gramma!" cried the little boy, only to have Logan throw him into the water as well.   
  
Several more people were thrown into the water. A man pulled away and begged to Logan, "Please don't throw me in the water! Anything but that!"   
  
"Okay," said Logan and shot him. He turned to look at the rest of the people, "Anybody else wanna argue?"   
  
"No," Kurt said and was shot as well.   
  
"Kurt, no!!!" Scott gasped, "Why!?!? He owed me $10!!! What have you done!?"   
  
Logan stared at the scene, then looked down at his gun in disbelief. He looked up at the crowd and said, "Good bye." With that, he jumped into the lifeboat and rowed away.   
  
"Scott, what are going to do?" Jean asked worriedly, "There aren't any more lifeboats!"   
  
Scott thought for a moment, "Well, I might just have enough time to-" Suddenly, the ship plunged under water. They managed to swim to surface and find a floating piece of debris. There was only enough room for Jean to stay on the debris so Scott stayed in the water and hold her hand.   
  
"Promise me you'll never let go," Scott said to her.   
  
She sniffled, "I'll never let go, Scott. I'll never let go." Suddenly, she heard her cell phone ring, "Hold on a second, Scott." She let go of his hand and answered her phone. "Hello? .....Oh, mom it's you..... No, I'm in the water with Scott...... Duncan who? Oh, never mind, I have to go." She hung up and looked back at Scott. He had stopped moving. Jean gasped, "Scott!"   
  
He woke up with a start, "What?"   
  
Jean breathed a sigh of relief, "For a moment there it looked like you were-"   
  
Suddenly a shark ate Scott. Jean stared in alarm at where he had been, then looked around nervously.   
  
Meanwhile, Jean's mother was on a lifeboat complaining about how her daughter never wanted to talk to her anymore. Everybody else was ready to push her off the boat, when she stopped complaining and asked if they could go back at get Jean.   
  
"We would," said a man, "But something's weighing this boat down."   
  
Everyone turned and stared at Kitty, who was shifting a couple of her bags of gold on to the floor of the boar. She noticed everyone looking at her, "What?" Soon enough, they had fixed the problem, despite Kitty's objections, and began rowing towards where everyone else was floating around in the water.   
  
Jean was still panicking when she saw the life boat floating not far away. She tried calling out to them but she had a terrible case of laryngitis. They boat was getting further away and Jean knew she had to do something. Nearby, she saw a referee in the water with a whistle still in his mouth. Jean quickly grabbed it. She faced the direction of the lifeboat and threw the whistle, managing to hit Kitty in the back of the head.  
  
"Ow!" Kitty held a hand to her head, "One of the dead people threw something at me!" She turned around, "Oh, it was just Jean."   
  
And so they rescued Jean from the icy hands of death. She had never quite recovered from having Scott taken away from her, but she knew that it was for the better. That shark probably had a wife and kids. Despite it all, she grew to be a very, very old lady that liked to tell very long detailed stories about her experience, even though nobody wanted to hear about it. All she had left was the necklace that she had swiped from Kitty. She treasured it dearly until she threw it into the ocean for no reason. The unexplained action was so devastating that she died.   
  
At this point, the dream came to an end. The professor mulled over what he had seen in Jean's mind, but decided that it would be better if he didn't.   
  
______________________________________  
  
The end....   
  
...of chapter 5. 


	6. Rogue's Dream Part 1

Ahahaha! I changed the title just to throw you off! _ No, actually I don't know why I changed it. It's practically the same title.... I just thought 'Dream On' sounded better than 'Keep Dreaming' ....I'm going to go put my head in a bucket of ice water now.  
  
Sorry for taking so long with this one. I had originally intended to do a parody of The Blaire Witch but I had no ideas for it and it was coming out really lame... and then I realized "Why the hell am I doing a parody of The Blaire Witch in the first place!?" I still have some dignity. _ Besides, you guys would probably all kill me for doing it. And even while I was sitting trying to think how I would make the parody work I was getting all sorts of wonderful ideas for Lance's dream, which I think will be lots of fun for me to write and hopefully for you to read.   
  
Anyway, I probably won't be able to update this as much as I was before, what with school and all, but I will try because... I care.   
  
-Hizzy   
  
______________________________________________  
  
The professor still wasn't feeling tired at all. He glanced over at his clock and saw that it was 12:00AM. It seemed odd. He thought looking at all those dreams had taken more time. Not only that, but midnight seemed to last forever, and the numbers on the clock were blinking.   
  
Seeing as how it wasn't too terribly late, the professor decided to take a look at another dream. He went inside the first mind that he could find, which happened to be Rogue's. Conveniently, her dream was just beginning.  
  
A room came into focus as the dream began. The professor was sitting around in his wheelchair, as usual. He didn't really have much else to do besides sit in his wheelchair. At the time he was twiddling his thumbs in an uncharacteristic manner and staring at the wall. It was very quiet. The silence continued for an unbearable amount of time.  
  
Suddenly, Kurt burst into the room.   
  
The professor looked up in surprise and stared at Kurt. He didn't quite know who he was, but he seemed awfully familiar. That didn't seem very important currently because Kurt was holding a gun and seemed set on using it.  
  
"Ich bin hier, Sie jetzt zu schießen," Kurt pointed the gun in the professor's direction.  
  
The professor stared at Kurt blankly. He pulled out his German-to-English book and flipped through it. Finally, he gasped. After flipping through it once more, he found an appropriate response, "Nicht schiessen!"   
  
"Ich muß. Andernfalls bohrt dieser Traum," Kurt retorted, shaking his head.  
  
After flipping through the book a while longer, the professor finally replied, "Aber... warum?"  
  
"Wenn ich Ihnen erklärte... würde ich Sie töten müssen," Kurt said, then thought about it for a moment and added, "...wieder." With that, Kurt shot the professor.  
  
Quickly, the professor flipped through the book to the appropriate page, "Autsch!"   
  
Just then, Pyro ran through the room, setting fire to everything he passed by, all the while shouting, "Feuer ist Spaß!" and laughing insanely.   
  
Two years later....  
  
The professor was in his study reading a book. Suddenly, realization struck him. The person who had shot him was Kurt, a former student of his. He thought deeply about this.   
  
Kurt was always acting a bit weird, but nobody ever really looked into it very much. Mostly because they didn't really care. The professor had had several sessions with him, but the only thing he found out that Kurt was very crazy. Of course, after the last session, Kurt became normal. The professor remembered back on how he had cured Kurt...  
  
He flashed back to that very last session where Kurt and himself where seated across from each other at a table. The only other thing in the room was the tape recorder that was recording all of Kurt's crazy talk. At the time, Kurt was rambling on in German about something or other. The professor didn't bother translating it because he thought it was just gibberish.  
  
The professor looked seriously at Kurt, "Stop acting crazy."  
  
Kurt stopped and blinked a couple times, "Okay."   
  
Xavier smiled as he remembered his previous success, even though Kurt came back and shot him. It certainly had nothing to do with Kurt's previous craziness because that had obviously been fixed.   
  
Now, however, the professor had recently received a student who was reportedly also crazy. He decided that it would be for the best if he had sessions with this girl. If there was one thing normal people didn't like, it was crazy people. That and ugly people.   
  
The professor opened a notebook and flipped to a certain page. At the top was written 'Kurt Wager.' The only other thing written on the page was, 'Status: crazy.' Xavier flipped to the next page. 'Rogue,' was written at the top, below which was written, 'Status: crazy.' The professor knew he needed to do a better job fixing Rogue than he did with Kurt. They obviously had the same thing wrong with them, so maybe just telling Rogue to stop acting crazy would just result in himself getting shot again.   
  
He wheeled himself out of the room and watched the students passing through the hall. They all ran by without even noticing him, probably because they were serving fajitas for lunch and nobody wanted to be late. Finally, the professor saw Rogue approaching.   
  
"Rogue?" he called, "May I have a word with you?"  
  
She paused, casting a gaze in the direction of fajitas, then finally moved over to Xavier, "Yeah, sure."   
  
"I would like you to have a..." he paused for a moment to think over his phrasing, "Conference with me tonight."   
  
Rogue wasn't really paying attention to him. She was very distracted at the thought of fajitas. 'Mmm... fajitas...' She smiled thinking about the fajita-y goodness.  
  
"Rogue?" Xavier said after a couple of minutes, "Is that alright with you?"   
  
"Huh?" she blinked and returned her gaze to him, "Oh, right, right. Fajitas. Okay, sounds great."   
  
The professor assumed 'fajita' was some sort of teenage slang for 'conference.' He smiled reassuringly at her, "The 'fajita' will be in my office at six o'clock tonight." With that, he wheeled away.   
  
Rogue was confused, but didn't think it over all that much. All the thinking about fajitas was reminding her about lunch and that she was currently missing it. She quickly made her way down to the dining room.   
  
_________  
  
Later that night, Rogue found herself in Professor Xavier's office. At the time, he was staring out the window with a serious expression on his face. Rogue didn't know exactly what she was supposed to be doing. She had come in about an hour ago and he hadn't moved from that spot.   
  
Just as she was about to say something, when the professor beat her to the punch, "Rogue do you know why I've asked you to see me?"   
  
Rogue thought about it for a moment, then she suddenly became very nervous, "Is this about when I used Kitty's power to sneak into R-rated movies? I swear I won't do it again unless I really have to!"   
  
"No, this has nothing to do with that," the professor sighed, "This is about something far more important?"   
  
"More important than R-rated movies?" she asked in surprise. She didn't know what he could be taking about. Unless... No, he couldn't know about her secret... Could he?   
  
Xavier paused for a moment, thinking carefully over what he would say to her. This was a delicate subject and it required patience, understanding, and compassion. Finally, he began, "It has come to my attention that you are quite crazy. The other students are frightened by your freakish behavior. Nobody likes you and if you don't start having sessions with me your life will become more of a disgrace than it already is."  
  
Rogue's mouth fell open in a mixture of offense and shock, "Professor, I'm not-"   
  
"Calm down," the professor held a hand up, "Nobody needs to be shot now."   
  
Now she wasn't just offended, but confused as well, "How could you think I'm crazy?"   
  
"Well..." the professor pulled a paper out of his desk, "In art class yesterday you drew this picture of a..." He trailed off and looked at it distastefully.  
  
"My picture of the cheerleader?" Rogue stared at it, "What's wrong with it?"  
  
"She has a knife sticking out of her," he said flatly, "This isn't the sort of thing we really approve of."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes, "Oh, so I draw one picture of that dead girl I saw the other day-" She stopped and cleared her throat nervously, "I mean the dead cheerleader that I just made up, and suddenly I'm crazy?"   
  
"There's also the matter of your talking to yourself," he said carefully.   
  
"Um..." she tried to think of an excuse, "It's just that I'm, uh... I'm thinking out loud. Yeah, that's what it is." She stopped and seemed to listen to something, "No, I can't say that! Then he'd really think I'm crazy!" She listened again, then cracked up laughing. When she noticed the professor looking at her skeptically she sat up straight and forced a serious expression onto her face.   
  
"Rogue, is there something you want to tell me?" Xavier asked, "Some sort of secret?"   
  
She looked nervously at her feet, "Um... no?"   
  
"I think there is," the professor leaned forward a little, "I think you're hiding something."   
  
Hesitantly, Rogue shook her head, "I can't tell you."   
  
Xavier sighed and said, "You don't have to tell me now. You can tell me when you're ready." He smiled warmly at her as she finally relaxed in her seat. There was a moment of silence as the professor shuffled the papers on his desk and Rogue fidgeted in her seat. He looked up at her, "Are you ready to tell me now?"   
  
"No!" she yelled and stormed out of the room.   
  
The professor sat back in his seat contemplated all of what had just happened. He looked down at the picture he was still holding of the dead girl. She had long red hair and was dressed in a cheerleading uniform. Xavier didn't have much time to think about it before he heard a knock  
  
Rogue poked her head in the door, "Professor?"  
  
"Yes?" he invited her back in.   
  
The girl stepped back into the room, "I'm ready to tell you my secret now."   
  
She seated herself in the seat she had just got out of thirty seconds ago. She hesitated for a moment, still seeming unsure about telling him. "Go ahead, Rogue," he said.  
  
She paused, then finally whispered, "I see dead people."   
  
The professor, somehow seeming unsurprised, leaned forward and whispered his reply, "I know. I read your mind a couple minutes ago."   
  
"What!?" she jumped out of her seat, "How could you-"  
  
He cut her off, "I was just kidding, Rogue. I would never do anything like that." He actually did read her mind. Fortunately she couldn't read his to know that he had done it.  
  
She looked seriously at him, "You think I'm a freak?"  
  
"Look at my face," the professor said and also looked serious, "I would never think that." She would never know that he actually did think she was a freak. A crazy freak, at that. "Tell me more about these dead people you see."  
  
_________________________________________________  
  
End part one of Rogue's dream.  
  
Translations:  
  
Ich bin hier, Sie jetzt zu schießen. - I am here to shoot you now.  
  
Nicht schiessen! - Don't shoot!  
  
Ich muß. Andernfalls bohrt dieser Traum. - I must. Otherwise this dream bores.  
  
Aber... warum? - But... why?  
  
Wenn ich Ihnen erklärte... würde ich Sie töten müssen...wieder - If I explained to you... I would have to kill you... again.  
  
autsch - ouch  
  
Feuer ist Spaß! - Fire is fun!  
  
In case you're stupid or I'm really bad at parodies (I'd say the latter) this is a parody of The Sixth Sense. The next chapter may very well contain spoilers for the end of the movie, so if you have not seen it, don't read the next chapter. Or if you really want to you can, but don't come crying to me if I ruin the end for you.   
  
Oh man, this part took so much longer than it should have! Major writer's block, I swear! I had one when I was writing Jean's dream. It's not pretty.  
  
SperryDee: "*laughs* Oh, gosh! Love the Jean-bashing (kinda). Jean is a major priss!"  
  
-I don't intend to bash any character. If I happen to be making fun of one of them it is not because I dislike the person, and anyway, there is only one character on the show that I really don't like (and it isn't Jean... I don't plan on telling who it is). But if you wish to see it as Jean-bashing, if that makes you happy, please feel free to do so.   
  
Mealz: "omg, this is SO funny! i was meant to be on the internet researching something for my homework and then i read this and had so much trouble trying to stop myself from laughing and in the end my mum asked what was so funny about researching heart disease and i had to make up a story really fast!!"   
  
-Heart Disease! Ahahahaha! Nobody needs an excuse to laugh about that! _   
  
Freakish Muffin: "I can't wait for the next chapter which shall be filled with parodiedy goodness... Call Webster's! I made up a word!"  
  
-Hello, Webster's? We need an entry for the newly invented word, 'goodness.' ....Whattya mean it's already a word!?  
  
SSJ Tokya: "Poor Pietro and Lance. I can't believe you killed them." "Poor Kurt, I can't believe Logan shot him." "Poor Scott. Heehee...the shark ate him."  
  
-Don't worry, it was all only a dream. The Titanic never really sunk.   
  
Everyone else who reviewed: "WHOO! We love you, Hizzy! You rock!"  
  
-Thank you all for your reviews. I greatly appreciate it. It boosts my already high ego. 


	7. Rogue's Dream Part 2

Major humor block here. I'm extraordinarily disappointed with the last chapter. I hope I can redeem myself with the second half of Rogue's dream, but it looks doubtful. I just want to get this one over with now. I'm very disappointed with how this one turned out. _ However, the future looks bright. I look forward to the upcoming chapters, especially Logan, Lance, and Pietro's. Those ones should be good. As for the order, it's either Scott or Evan next (whichever I feel like writing) and Logan after them. Then we get to start with the 'hood. ^^ Fun!   
  
WARNING: If you have not seen the movie The Sixth Sense, and you plan on doing that and don't want me to ruin the ending for you, don't read this. Or read it. Whatever.  
  
-Hizzy  
  
_____________________________  
  
Rogue peeked out of her door and down the empty hallway. Everyone else was asleep, as she had been a couple minutes ago. She bit her lip, shifting from foot to foot until she finally raced from her room to the bathroom.   
  
After finishing up in there, she came out with a relieved look on her face. She calmly began walking back to her room, when she realized that it was getting awfully cold. Trying to ignore this, she returned to where her room was and reached to open the door.   
  
Suddenly, the sound of objects banging around on the other side of the door caught her attention. Her eyes widened and she pulled her hand away from the knob. After a moment, she composed herself. It was probably just a new recruit digging through her stuff again. Actually, that had never happened but she liked to think it did. Rogue breathed deeply and prepared to check it out. She noticed a rifle conveniently leaning next to her door. Gratefully, she took it and opened the door.   
  
At first, she didn't see anybody, but then she saw a the back of a girl standing in front of the closet, tossing clothing onto the floor. Rogue swallowed hard and stepped forward, raising the gun at the girl.  
  
"I know you're new here, and all," Rogue said, trying to sound assertive, "But that doesn't give you an excuse to go through all my stuff." She wondered if she should fire a warning shot, just in case. It took a lot to get through to those new recruits.  
  
Then the girl turned around. It was a horrible site. The girl was quite pale and smelled really bad. She had obviously been dead for a very long time.   
  
Rogue lowered the gun and sighed in annoyance. It was just another dead person. She was so SICK of how they always came and bugged her.   
  
The girl was the very same cheerleader from Rogue's drawing, who happened to be Jean. She was staring at Rogue, with a couple articles of clothing in her hands.   
  
"Can I ask what you're doing with my stuff?" Rogue asked angrily. Dead people were always so rude. Always taking her stuff and bugging her and trying to kill her.   
  
Jean looked down and the clothes she was holding, and smiled sheepishly at Rogue. "Well, I was just going to borrow something. I got blood all over my nice cheerleading outfit, and red's really not my color," she turned back to the closet and resumed pawing through the clothing, "Would you happen to have any clothes that actually look good?"   
  
Rogue scowled at her, "Get out of my room!" Jean appeared offended, but didn't budge from her spot. Finally, Rogue rolled her eyes and walked out of the room.  
  
____  
  
The next day, Xavier was going through all of the old recordings he had made with Kurt. So far he had found nothing of importance. He was already down to the very last tape. With many doubts, he popped it into the player and pressed play.   
  
First there was a moment of silence, and then the sound of a door opening and closing and finally the sound of his own voice came out of the machine, "Sorry about that. Hope I didn't leave you alone too long.... Kurt? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"  
  
Kurt's voice said, "I see dead people."   
  
"Yes, but why are you crying?" the professor asked.  
  
"I already told you!" Kurt yelled, "I see dead people!"  
  
"Hm," the professor's voice contemplated this, "Is it possible for you to give a less crazy answer?"   
  
"I hate you!" Kurt's voice sounded very upset, "You're not my REAL psychologist!" Then there was the sound of footsteps and a door slamming.   
  
After a moment, Xavier's voice came through the speaker, "It's obvious I'll never find out what's really wrong with Kurt. Perhaps the only way to fix him is through lobotomy."   
  
The professor switched off the tape and contemplated it. Then a thought occurred to him. He hit the rewind button and switched on the tape again.   
  
His voice came out of the tape player, "-And so I said to the nurse, 'Kurt's so crazy!' and we just laughed and laughed." There was the sound of his own laughter. The professor chuckled to himself, remembering the amusing story. Kurt gave a short, forced laugh on the tape, directly before the sound a door opening interrupted them both.   
  
"Professor?" said a woman's voice on the recording, "Dr. McCoy is on line two."   
  
"Kurt, I have to take this. I'll be right back," the professor's voice said briefly before his footsteps were heard, the sound of the door closing followed. Then there was a lot of silence. Xavier leaned forward and listened intently as the silence continued.   
  
Then Kurt spoke, "Oh no! There's a dead person in the room!" Xavier stroked his chin in thought, wondering what could possibly be wrong. There was a lot more silence. "Oh, für die Liebe von..." Kurt's voice sounded agitated, "Turn up the volume!" The professor hesitated, but finally did turn up the volume. Only then did he hear the second voice over the recording.   
  
"OooOoooOoooh! I'm a scary ghost!" said the voice, "OoooOoooOooh!"  
  
It was at that exact moment, that professor realized that he'd been horribly, horribly wrong. It was directly his fault that Kurt shot him. Not only that, but he had ignored all of the warning signs that Kurt had been seeing dead people: fear, craziness, saying that he saw dead people. Xavier knew there was only one thing he could do at this point.   
  
He looked around and saw there was nobody around. Slowly, he reached down and pressed the 'erase' button on the tape player. With that, he was able to relax and nobody was the wiser.   
  
_____  
  
Xavier stared across his desk and Rogue, who was slumped down in her seat, waiting for him to say something. He leaned back in his chair and appeared to be deep in thought. Finally, after a couple more minutes, he spoke, "Rogue, I just want you to know that I now believe everything you've told me."   
  
She stared at him, "But I thought you already believed me."   
  
"Yes, of course I did," he coughed and changed the subject, "I think I might just know the solution to your problem."   
  
She sat up and a look of excitement came to her face, "You mean you can make it so that I don't see dead people?"   
  
"No," he said and saw her frown, "But I remember that you told me these dead people come to you with their problems, asking for your help. I believe that is the key to your solution."   
  
"You think I should help them?" Rogue asked skeptically.   
  
The professor laughed, "No, nothing of the sort. I think that you should just ignore them." She continued staring at him so he continued, "Every time a dead person comes to you for help, just pretend your busy until they go away."   
  
"But they would just come back," she said flatly, "Wouldn't it be easier to help them?" Rogue waited for him to reply but he was shuffling papers around on his desk and didn't seem to hear what she said. "Professor?"   
  
He held a hand up, "Not now, Rogue. I'm very busy." She sighed and left the room. Xavier threw the papers into a trash, "Finally!" He opened a desk drawer and pulled out his Harry Potter book, "Oh, Harry, I wish our world was as interesting as yours..."   
  
_____  
  
A week had passed since Xavier had 'solved' Rogue's problem. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be working. Just as she had predicted, the dead people only came back at a later time, eventually getting more and more persistent.   
  
"Pleeeeeease?" the dead Jean whined.  
  
"No," Rogue tried to continue reading her book but the dead people kept bothering her. There was a long line of them outside her door waiting to ask her for help.   
  
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Jean tried.  
  
This had been going on for the past ten minutes, and Rogue couldn't take it anymore. She finally threw the book down, "Fine! You can borrow the clothes... actually, you can just keep them."   
  
Jean smiled widely, "Thank you! You're the nicest living person..." she paused and thought for a moment, then added, "...in this room." She exited with the least black set of clothing and then next set of dead people entered.   
  
This time it was Lance and Pietro, both looking quite beaten up. They were arguing with each other as they entered the room.   
  
"Just shut up and admit that you were wrong!" Lance shouted.   
  
Pietro retaliated with, "No, YOU shut up because YOU were wrong!"   
  
"I was NOT!"  
  
"Yes you were!"  
  
"No I wasn't!"  
  
"Takes one to know one!"   
  
Lance glared at him, "That didn't even make sense!"  
  
"Take that back!" Pietro seemed ready to fight again.  
  
Rogue groaned. It didn't take a genius to figure out how they died. The childish arguing continued for a couple more minutes, when Rogue finally couldn't take it any more, "Would you both just shut UP!" The did and stared at her, finally remember why they had come in the first place. She tried to compose herself and reminded herself that they were just dead people and their brains had probably been damaged in their fight, "Why are you here?"  
  
"I want you tell Lance that he was wrong and he's a stupid jerk," Pietro crossed his arms across his chest turned his back on the mentioned boy.   
  
"What he meant to say," Lance growled as he scowled at Pietro, "Is that he wants you to tell him that he was wrong and that it's his fault we're dead."   
  
"Yeah right," Pietro grumbled, "We're dead because your stupid earthquake collapsed the house on us."   
  
"No, we're dead because you decided to throw active grenades around."   
  
"It's always about those grenades with you, isn't it?" Pietro rolled his eyes.   
  
Rogue groaned again, "Okay, can you at least tell me why ya'll are fighting?"   
  
They both had to think for a moment, until Pietro finally replied, "Well, he had the remote and I wanted it so I took it and then he started going on about how it was HIS turn to watch TV, when he knew it was really my turn!"  
  
She stared at them in shock, "You mean to tell me that you killed each other over a remote?"   
  
"Hey, he killed ME!" Lance grumbled. This brought them back to the previous argument of who killed who and who was wrong. Eventually, this resulted in a fist fight, which didn't do a whole lot of good seeing as how they were both dead and couldn't feel any pain.   
  
"Guys!" Rogue shouted, making both boys stop fighting, "Lets just say you were BOTH wrong."   
  
They both stared at each other for a moment with sudden realization.  
  
"I never thought of it like that," Pietro said.   
  
Lance nodded in agreement, "Hey, sorry for killing you."   
  
"Ah, that's okay," Pietro shrugged and they both exited the room happily.   
  
Moments later, Kitty burst into the room, "Rogue! I've got this problem it's, like, really bad! So, Amara was all like, 'that dress makes your butt look so big!' and so I was all like, 'No it doesn't!' and she was all like, 'Yuh-huh!' and I was like, 'Gasp!' and so I was like, so totally mad at her and I wasn't speaking to her, so then she like, stopped talking to ME and I just couldn't believe it! I mean, can you believe her? She thinks she's like, so much better than me when she's not! I wanted to tell her that but I still wasn't speaking to her so she was just like all not talking to me and junk so I went and was telling Bobby about it and he was all like, 'I don't care' and so now I'm, like, mad at him, too because, I mean, he should take my side because Amara thinks she's like, so much better than me when she's not! So, anyway, then I was like, 'Bobby, I'm like SO not talking to you anymore!' and then he was like 'Yes you are because you just said that.' And he just thinks he so smart but I was like, 'Pff!' And he was all like, 'Hmph.' And so then I went and was...."  
  
Rogue realized that Kitty wasn't actually dead so she didn't have to help her. Kitty kept going on for a couple more minutes, when she noticed that Rogue appeared to be doing paperwork.   
  
"Umm... Sorry, you look really busy," Kitty said and exited the room.   
  
_____  
  
The next day was Rogue's last session with the professor.   
  
"So then I said to the nurse, 'Rogue certainly is crazy. Perhaps we should give her a lobotomy.' And we just laughed and laughed..." The professor chuckled to himself. He knew how much everyone loved his stories, even though Rogue was staring at him, seemingly shocked with what he said. Obviously, she wasn't much into humor.  
  
"Professor, can I tell you something?" Rogue asked seriously.  
  
Xavier glanced at his watch and nodded, "Yes, of course."  
  
"I just want you to know that you didn't help me in the least bit. In fact, you actually made things worse somehow," Rogue told him.  
  
"I'm glad you've enjoyed these sessions," Xavier smiled at her, not having listened to what she just said.   
  
Rogue rolled her eyes and stood up to leave, "Goodbye, Professor." She walked to the door, then looked back and casually said, "By the way, you're dead." With that, she left, never to come back until next week.   
  
Xavier stared after her and shook his head, "Why would she think I'm dead?" It was at this point, he looked down and noticed the gunshot wound from where Kurt had shot him. "Oh, right! I was wondering why that never healed!"   
  
The dream ended abruptly at this point. Xavier was shocked that Rogue would dream such things. They way her dream was set up, it made him look like some sort of idiot. He glanced over at the clock. It was still midnight, as it had been for the past three hours. He still had time to see at least one more dream. The professor began to ponder who's dream to invade next.  
  
_____________________________________________________________  
  
o_O That was the worst chapter out of the bunch. Eeeyuck.   
  
_ Anyway, thanks for sticking with me. I'm proud of you. *gives you a cookie and pats your head*  
  
Now, on to my fan mail.  
  
Freakish Muffin: "... Do you kno the muffin man?"   
  
-Is this some sort of trick question? I'm going to go with 'no.' Wait, 'yes!' No, I think I'll stick with 'no.'  
  
SperryDee: "I can relate to Rogue. About 80% of the people at my school think I'm crazy...but I'm not, I'm just parallell parked in a diagonal universe, ya know?"  
  
-Yes, I understand completely.   
  
_  
  
_  
  
No, actually I think you're very crazy. Crazier than Rogue. Why else would you be reading my fanfic?  
  
Akyia_Rain: "WOW! You are great! WHOO! WE LOVE HIZZY! I still think the Titanic sunk though...but now I am having second thoughts... "Maybe it didn't sink after all and it just got lost in the Bermuda Triangle...DAMN THAT JAMES CAMERON AND ALL HIS GAY "MY HEART WILL GO ON" CRAP!" That is all...oh and by the way...I don't speak German."  
  
-Er... This is the LAST time I'm inviting any of my friends to read my fanfics. 


	8. Evan's Dream

I'd just like to take this opportunity to tell you all that I don't necessarily endorse any couplings that I use in this fanfic. I may or may not support the couples that I use so don't jump to conclusions. Also, you should know that whatever couple you like... those are the ones I like. And those couples you hate... I hate them, too. And that's why you should give me a bunch of reviews.   
  
Oh, and I should have more time to update seeing as how I just lost my job. Yay!   
  
-Hizzy  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
Xavier did not particularly like Rogue's dream. He simply could not believe that she would dream about him being dead. Perhaps he would have to have a talk with her later. Or maybe he would just avoid her at all costs.   
  
At any rate, he decided that the only way to make himself forget would be to watch another dream. And not just anyone's dream. Evan's dream. There was definitely something about Evan's dreams that made it easy to forget other things.   
  
With his mind made up, the professor found his way into Evan's mind.   
  
For a moment, there was a jumbled mess of incoherent [subliminal] thoughts and random advertisements. "|23\/!3\/\/ 7|-|!$ |=@|\||=!(....Drink Coca-Cola... 9!\/3 |-|122¥ /\/\0|\|3¥..." said the dream.   
  
Soon the dream began to form and the first thing Xavier could see were two people walking. This very quickly evolved into something much more elaborate. Finally, it was clear. The people were Evan and Kurt and they were walking away from school in the direction of the institute.   
  
Evan was thinking about what a good day he had been having. Absolutely nothing had gone wrong all day, without the slightest possibility of anything ruining it. He was so busy thinking about what a good day it was, that he didn't notice that he'd walked into well placed minefield. He didn't notice when Kurt tried to warn him of the danger or when Kurt finally gave up and transported him away from the explosives. He also didn't notice when a rabid dog stole his backpack and drank his milk. So it makes sense that he didn't notice when the dog decided to attack Kurt. Then heavy storm clouds covered the sky and rain began to pelt both of them. A bolt of lightening flashed from sky, narrowly missing the oblivious Evan and hit Kurt instead. Evan was in such a good mood, in fact, that he didn't even notice when the stock market crashed and he became bankrupt. Then the debt collectors started calling him, wanting money. When he didn't pay them, they sent people out to get him, but they mistakenly beat up Kurt instead.   
  
Evan felt sorry for Kurt, who wasn't having as good a day as he was. But Kurt's bad luck was no reason for Evan to have a less wonderful day. Nothing could go wrong, he knew.  
  
Just then, he ran into Pietro.  
  
"Watch where you're going, Daniels!" Pietro snapped.   
  
Evan couldn't believe his rotten luck. Of all the things that could have possibly gone wrong that day, he just HAD to run into him. His good mood completely vanished and he glared at Pietro. "You should watch where YOUR going!" Evan shot back.   
  
Pietro glared back, "You ran into ME!"   
  
"Oh yeah? Well, yo' mama!" retorted Evan. Pietro and Kurt stared at him but he stuck with his come back.   
  
Pietro rolled his eyes, "I don't have time for this." Normally, he wouldn't mind getting into a fight with Evan, but he had a full schedule, which required him to get home in about fifteen seconds.   
  
Evan smiled smugly as Pietro prepared to leave. He turned to Kurt and said, "See, I told you he was a wuss." He had never actually said such a thing. He had said it in his head, though, and that was close enough for him.   
  
Any prior arrangements were forgotten as Pietro narrowed his eyes at Evan. "What was that, spike-boy?"   
  
"Spike-boy!?" Evan wasn't as offended as he appeared. He actually liked the title. It made him sound like a super hero. At any rate, it was meant to be an insult and therefore he was enraged, "NObody calls me spike-boy."   
  
"Yeah? What're you gonna do about it, spike-boy?" Pietro smirked at him, proud of his clever use of the new nickname, "You gonna fight me with your lame spike power?"   
  
"My spikes are NOT lame!" Evan growled.   
  
Pietro was beginning to have fun with the argument, "If there was an award for the world's dumbest mutant power you'd win it!" Little did they know, there WAS an award for world's dumbest mutant power. It was presented to a man from Guam who's mutant ability allowed him to control Skittles. Not any other types of candy...  
  
just Skittles.   
  
Evan scowled and paused while he tried to think of good insult, "Yeah... well... at least I don't act all girly like you!"  
  
  
  
Angry flared inside of Pietro. He knew that he was as manly as anybody could come. And if wearing girl's panties wasn't considered manly, than he didn't know what was. Evan wouldn't get away with calling him girly. "How DARE you insult my manliness! That's the ONE thing I won't let people insult! You can make fun of the way I dress or the way I talk or my stamp collection... but NEVER my manliness! Why, I outta... I outta..." 'Quick, Pietro,' he thought, 'say something manly! What would sexy Lance say to him? Wait! I know!' "-I outta rock you!"  
  
"What!?" Evan was more than a little confused.  
  
'Ooh, dammit,' Pietro thought angrily,' this is Lance's fault for saying that all the time! If he didn't have such a nice ass I SO wouldn't be living with him anymore!' He noticed Evan was staring at him so he quickly tried to redeem himself, "I said you're stupid!" Pietro mentally kicked himself. Usually he was really good at quick come-backs but he had been so distracted thinking about Lance.   
  
Nevertheless, Evan was very much offended, "Only a stupid person would call me stupid because I'm so NOT stupid!"   
  
"Evan, just let it go," Kurt tried to reason with him, "We're going to be late for our training session."   
  
"Forget the training session!" Evan turned back to Pietro, "There's only one way to solve this."   
  
"Oh yeah?" Pietro smirked at him, "What's that?"   
  
"A race!" both of the other boys didn't respond. They only stared at Evan, thinking that he couldn't possibly be serious. Evan assumed that they were speechless at his brilliant idea so he continued, "First one to the institute wins."  
  
"You're even dumber than I thought!" Pietro snorted.  
  
"We'll see who's dumb after you lose!" Evan replied smugly, "And the loser will have to go on a date with Tabitha."   
  
"What's so bad about-" Pietro noticed Tabitha not far away.   
  
She was surrounded by a group of people who were all chanting, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" As she chugged a large can of beer, then another. She finished up, crushed the can on her forehead, and belched loudly. The group of people cheered until Tabitha ran behind some bushes to vomit.  
  
Pietro got a disgusted look across his face, then turned back to Evan, "You're on!"  
  
Kurt pulled Evan to the side and whispered to him, "I don't think you've thought this through!"  
  
"I know what I'm doing!" Evan pulled away from Kurt, "That slowpoke, Pietro doesn't stand a chance!"  
  
Kurt stared at him blankly, "Um... Evan, I-"  
  
"What's the holdup?" Pietro demanded impatiently, "Let's go!"  
  
"Right!" Evan hurried away from Kurt and readied himself next to Pietro. They both glared at each other for a moment while they prepared themselves.  
  
Finally, they were on their marks and Pietro said very quickly, "ReadysetGO!!" And with that he sped away at top speed, literally leaving Evan in the dust.  
  
"Oh, crap! I forgot he could do that!" Evan gasped. Kurt slapped a hand to his face, wondering why exactly he hung out with Evan.   
  
Meanwhile, Pietro had reached the institute. He looked behind him and saw that Evan was nowhere in site. He chuckled to himself. That'll teach him to not have superspeed. Then Pietro had a thought. It just wouldn't be the same if Evan didn't actually see him win. It was at this time that Pietro decided to wait for Evan to arrive before he won the race. If his calculations were correct, Evan would be arriving in two hours. But what would he do for two hours? He stifled a yawn while he thought. Perhaps he would just sit and wait for Evan to show up.   
  
Pietro found a nice comfy spot under a shady tree and began the waiting. But he quickly realized it was very boring. Across the street he saw a herd of sheep and they were each jumping a fence one at a time. He decided to count the sheep. Maybe that would keep him awake.   
  
"One... two... three... four..." he began. Nearby, a mother pushed a baby carriage and hummed Brahms's Lullaby. "Five... six... seven...eight..."   
  
Three seconds later, Pietro was sound asleep.   
  
At that some moment, elsewhere, Evan was going as fast as he could. There was absolutely no possible way for him to win, but he was determined. He kept running but soon realized that he was very slow. People kept pointing and laughing at his slowness. Regardless, he just kept running, and running, and running, and running...  
  
_____  
  
INTERMISSION  
  
Pyro: [dressed as a flaming bucket of popcorn and singing] "Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a treat!"  
  
_____  
  
and running, and running, and running. It had been over an hour and he still couldn't see the institute. He knew that he must have been close, though.  
  
"Would you like some help?" Kurt, who hadn't moved from the same spot he was in when the race started, asked from several feet away.   
  
Evan glared at him, "I'm almost there!" He continued running. Any time now he would lap Pietro. He just knew it.   
  
Just then he noticed a snail passing him. It stuck it's tongue out him and disappeared into the distance. At that moment it occurred to Evan that he would probably lose.   
  
"Why don't you just use your skateboard?" Kurt asked after about twenty minutes.   
  
"That's cheating," Evan muttered, completely out of breath, "Can't you just bamf me there, or something?"  
  
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "But isn't THAT cheating?"   
  
"No," Evan said in annoyance, "It's only cheating if I use MY mutant ability. There's nothing wrong with me using YOUR mutant ability." Kurt shrugged and did as he was asked.   
  
Seconds later, they were both transported to right outside the institutes gates, near where Pietro was still dozing. Kurt and Evan exchanged glances and nudged the other mutant. He woke up and seemed startled, not having realized that he had fallen asleep.  
  
Once he had gathered his thoughts, he began to laugh at Evan, "Took you long enough! An hour and a half? Hmph, it's better than I gave you credit for. I got here in twelve seconds. I wanted to wait until you got here to win, just to see the look on your stupid face!" He continued laughing and taunting while Evan stared sadly at his feet.   
  
Kurt looked thoughtful, "So... you haven't actually finished?"   
  
Pietro snorted, "No, I told you, I waited for spike boy."   
  
"Don't call me spike boy!" Evan shouted. Kurt elbowed him and whispered something into his ear. Evan still seemed seem to get it. Kurt whispered it again. Evan stared at him.   
  
"He hasn't finished the race yet!" Kurt yelled, "Touch the gate!" Evan still seemed confused but touched the institute's gate anyway.   
  
Shock and dismay crossed Pietro's face, finally realizing that he indeed had not finished the race and had now lost the race. Evan still didn't know what was going on. He looked confusedly at Kurt, inquiring as to why Pietro was shouting naughty words.  
  
"You won the race," Kurt said flatly.   
  
Evan blinked a couple of times. He looked from Kurt to Pietro to the gate to the snail and finally registered the information. At that he began the shameless taunting of Pietro.   
  
"Haha! You lose! I win! In yer face!" He stuck out his tongue and made confusing hand gestures, "Now you have to go on a date with Tabitha!"   
  
"No," Pietro muttered, finally gathering enough self control to feel degraded.  
  
"But.. but," Evan sputtered, "That was our deal!"   
  
Pietro thought for a moment, "Nope, actually our deal was that the winner has to come to school naked tomorrow."   
  
"It was not!" At least Evan didn't think so. He couldn't quite remember. Although, it did seem like the kind of deal he would make.  
  
"According to this contract it is," Pietro said and pulled out a very official looking piece paper, which read:  
  
'I, the winner, here to solemnly swear to come to school naked tomorrow because I'm a stupid jerk and shouldn't have won, anyway.'  
  
At the bottom was signed Evan's name, in Pietro's handwriting.   
  
Evan inspected the contract. It was very official looking and it appeared that he had signed it. He sighed, "Well, I guess I can't argue with a contract."   
  
_____  
  
Xavier quickly pulled himself out of Evan's dream, afraid that it might move on to the next day at school. And while he was glad that the dream involved himself in no way, it would be best to repress the memory of the dream ever having occurred. And so let us never speak of it again.  
  
__________________________________________________________  
  
End: Evan's Dream.  
  
A little background information: this was actually the very first idea I had for this story. I had thought "Wouldn't it be interesting to have a parody of The Tortoise and the Hare, with Pietro and Evan?" Especially since Evan kinda looks like a tortoise after his powers go all funky and Pietro's hair kinda looks like bunny ears. Teehee... And that was when I decided to write it into a fanfic and then thought, while I was at it, I'd do a buncha other parodies. ^____^ Hooray for random ideas!  
  
And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You make this all worthwhile. My life revolves around you. I wish for each and every one of you to marry me. 


	9. Scott's Dream Part 1

Whoa! I'm actually updating!!! Well, I have a perfectly acceptable excuse… I am lazy.   
  
Okay, that and I'm very busy and my crazy mother keeps grounding me off my own computer. _  
  
Terribly sorry about the lack in updating. Hope this makes up for it.  
  
VERY, VERY IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE (READ IT OR YOU MIGHT DIE!): Just thought that, to avoid confusion, I will tell you what this dream is. It is going to be about miscellaneous horror movies. There will be more than one, many in fact. See if you can guess the movies! It'll be fun like a game!  
  
I had gone through many possibilities for Scott. In fact, originally I had planned on using the movie Citizen Kane. It would have been a fantastic movie to parody, with Xavier being Kane, of course, and Scott being the reporter dude. Then I thought that many, if not all, of you haven't seen the movie. I mean… it IS just a classic movie and all by the great Orson Wells… there's no special effects or even any color in the movie. There's no reason for anybody to watch it anymore. _ I'm sorry. Sorry so many of you haven't seen that movie.   
  
_______________________________________________  
  
The professor was so shocked at the results of the last dream that he decided to skip all introduction to the next one and just began watching Scott's dream with no further notice.  
  
As the dream began, Scott was sitting in a chair reading a book. The book was about nothing in particular. It had a poorly constructed plotlines, very few points of creativity, and actually had no real thought process put into it. It was titled Dream On.   
  
Jean, Rogue, Kitty, Kurt, and Evan were also in the same room. They were all squished onto one couch somehow and they were very bored. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock and the occasional sigh of boredom.   
  
Finally, Kitty phased out of the big couch-pile and groaned loudly, "It's, like, so totally boring here! We should do something!"   
  
"Like what?" Jean asked skeptically. Usually when Kitty wanted to do something, it was along the lines of playing truth or dare, going to the mall, or making fun of the fat kids at the park.   
  
"Umm…" Kitty said thoughtfully. She just wasn't in the mood for truth or dare, and going to the mall was out of the question until she spent an hour in the bathroom making herself pretty for the local shopkeepers, and the parents of the fat kids she enjoyed making fun of had threatened her numerous times.   
  
Suddenly Evan jumped up upon coming up with a brilliant idea, "We should go camping!"   
  
Jean, Kitty, and Kurt all flourished at the thought. A camping trip was a great idea. In fact, it was more than a great idea. It was the greatest idea ever. It was even greater than Xavier's idea to help people. Helping people was boring. Camping was fun. That's how they decided to go camping. Rogue, on the other hand, didn't think it was such a great idea. Then again, she didn't think helping people was a great idea, either, so she decided to go along anyway.   
  
Scott hadn't heard a word of their conversation. He was still busy reading his book. He didn't look up, even when all attention was shifted to him. He didn't notice when Jean put her face three inches from his face and said, "Wanna come camping with us? …Scott?" He didn't notice when she waved her hand in front of his face or tapped his shoulder. Finally she shoved him and yelled his name loudly. He noticed but he chose to ignore her anyway. He was very much into his book. Jean scowled at him. If there's one thing she couldn't stand, it was being ignored. That and the fact she was a cheerleader. But people had certain expectations of her, and those expectations included being a cheerleader.  
  
Out of frustration, she grabbed his book and threw it in the fireplace. Scott stared after it for a moment, then turned back to look at Jean, "You want something, Jean?"  
  
Jean resisted the urge to do something very un-Jean-like, and instead slapped a smile on her face, as she always did when she wanted to stab somebody, and said sweetly, "Yes, Scott, we were just wondering if you would go camping with us."   
  
He cast a glance to the ashes of his book, "Well… I guess I've got nothing better to do…"   
  
With that they all hurried to pack their things. They gathered all the essentials and brought them down to pack into the X-van. Scott brought down one bag, Rogue brought two, Evan brought three, Kitty and Jean both brought ten, and Kurt didn't bring anything because he wasn't familiar with the term 'camping' and thought it involved some sort of carnival.   
  
The drive was very uneventful. It was so uneventful it doesn't even deserve mention at all.   
  
"Wasn't that an exciting drive?" Kitty asked as she exited the van, upon reaching their destination.  
  
"It sure was!" Jean exclaimed as she began unloading their baggage, "Who would have expected all those very, very interesting things to happen while we were driving?"  
  
"I certainly never would have!" Scott exclaimed as he thought about what an adventure their drive had been.   
  
Evan looked around with contempt at the wilderness. He very much disliked anything that involved going camping. Why he had suggested going camping was beyond himself. "So, where are we going to sleep?"  
  
"There's some cabins nearby," Jean pointed off in some random direction, which actually lead to a Motel 6 (that's bad), "Kurt, where's the map?"   
  
"The map?" Kurt stared at her with confusion, "What map?  
  
She rolled her eyes, "The one that I handed you when I said, 'here's the map, don't lose it.' That map."   
  
"Oh," Kurt said thoughtfully, "I lost it."   
  
Jean scowled at him, "You WHAT!? I told you NOT to lose it! What is this? 'Do the opposite of what Jean says' day or something?"   
  
Kurt kicked at the ground with his foot, "Well, I know where it is, actually…"  
  
"If you know where it is, then you didn't lose it," Jean said impatiently, "Now, where is it?"  
  
"Um," Kurt glanced off down the highway, "About five miles back, where I threw it out the window."   
  
Jean didn't say anything. She stared at him for a moment with what looked like thoughtfulness. She didn't move, or even blink. Everybody else waited for her to become angry with Kurt but that never happened. Finally she took in a deep breath of air and picked up her bag, "Okay, everybody, we've got a lot of ground to cover so we'd better head on out."   
  
Kurt looked over at Scott, who only shrugged.   
  
***  
  
About an hour later they hadn't reached the cabins, or the Motel 6 (which was a good thing). Everyone began to suspect that there weren't any cabins after all. They also began to suspect that Jean had lured them out into the woods to use them in her devious plots. Just because it seemed like something she would never ever do, it somehow was very likely in their minds.   
  
Jean studied her compass, pretending that she actually understood how to use it, and spoke to the group in a cheerful voice, "Okay, guys, I think the cabins are right down this path here, so if we just-"  
  
"Would you just stop it with your LIES?!" Kurt suddenly shouted.  
  
Jean stared at him, startled, "What? But I-"  
  
"Who elected you boss of this hike?" Evan demanded.  
  
She didn't even have a chance to defend herself before Kitty jumped in, "I know what she's trying to do! She's, like, trying to make us train to become better mutants! That's what this whole trip's about, isn't it?" She grabbed the front of Jean's shirt, "ISN'T IT?!"   
  
Evan and Kurt both gasped at the mention of training. They took off running in separate directions, Kitty soon following. The rest of the group stared after them in confusion.   
  
Jean turned and looked at Scott and Rogue, "Well, I'm glad SOME of us are able to keep our common sense!" Scott nodded in agreement. Rogue looked nervous for a moment, then ran off in the vague direction of the others. Jean sighed, "At least you're still here, Scott."   
  
"Of course I am," he smiled proudly, "What kind of man would I be if I were to leave you alone in these woods?" What kind of man, indeed, he thought as he grinned inwardly, knowing that the cabin was not far away and he and Jean were alone. Nothing could possibly go wrong now.   
  
Meanwhile, the others were gathered not too far away, behind a cluster of trees. All four were giggling madly. The plan was going perfectly.  
  
Evan prepared the camera, "Now all we have to do is film some stupid documentary about the Bayville Witch and show it to Jean!"  
  
"She'll, like, be totally freaked out!" Kitty laughed. They four were only getting back at Jean for cracking down on them lately.   
  
[flashback to the previous danger room session]  
  
Kitty screamed as a robot came after her with a knife in one hand, and a lazar gun in the other. She was so busy trying to avoid it, that she couldn't go help Kurt, who was teleporting as fast as he could away from the bullets. Nearby, Rogue was trying to escape the pit in which the walls were closing in on her. It only makes sense that nobody noticed that Evan was unconscious and being beaten by two robots with crowbars.  
  
"Come on, guys!" Jean shouted, "What happened to all those other training sessions we've had? Stop losing!" She sighed in exasperation when she heard them calling for help, "No, you don't need help. What you need is a good cheer." With that she waved her pom-poms around and kicked her legs in the air, "Go! Go! You can do it! If you can't do it, you're pathetic! Whoo!"   
  
[end flashback]  
  
"She'll think twice about giving US more training sessions!" Evan exclaimed, "I mean, we don't even NEED training! She should be working on the new recruits."   
  
"We lost most of them in the last danger room session," Rogue said, shaking her head sadly.   
  
They reminisced some more, about why they had decided to do this to Jean, then decided to start with the documentary. Rogue had volunteered to be the 'host' of the documentary.  
  
The video camera was started and the first image seen on the tape was Rogue, looking very serious. That is, as serious as she can possibly look. "The Bayville Witch… Hoax, or real life scary evil thing that will eat you in your sleep? Well, we're here to discuss that. With us here today, is Evan, who knows everything there is to know about the Bayville Witch. Evan?"   
  
"Thank you, Rogue," Evan pushed her aside and took a dramatic pose in front of the camera, "I have seen the Bayville Witch. It's a hideous beast. The ugliest thing ever. It's whole body is covered in fur. That's right -- fur! Blue fur, at that. And it's got a tail, much resembling the devil's, only much worse. Not only that but it's got pointy ears and sharp teeth and yellow eyes!" Evan paused and looked at something off the camera, "Oh, no offense Kurt."   
  
"It's okay," Kurt's choked, hurt voice was heard off the camera shot.   
  
____________________________________________________  
  
Er… hope that's okay for now. I assure you that the next chapter will be more action-packed. I'm just trying to get this out to everybody ASAP. I WOULD have got it out sooner, but I lost about half of it when my computer crashed again. [grumble grumble]   
  
So now I'm just angry. Next chapter shouldn't take as long as this one did. I promise. 


	10. Scott's Dream Part 2 ie FAILED CHAPTER

Once again, I apologize for the lack of updates. I just can't seem to find my 'fanfic-writing' mind frame. It's very sad.   
  
Factoid: This is my longest running fanfiction ever. The previous longest run fanfic of mine was only seven chapters and took me all of two weeks to write. I just want you to know, though, I haven't forgotten you and all of your wonderful reviews. I would like to remind everyone that I love reviews. I need them to live. Please review, as it's all I have left in life…  
  
Besides my writing, my family, my friends, my school, my extra-curricular activities, and my precious television shows. Aside from THOSE things I have nothing but reviews.  
  
IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: I know that when you're not reading my fanfics you must be BORED out of your minds! SO! Here's what you can do: Go won't regret it! (and if you do, you're obviously crazy)  
  
-Hizzy   
  
"Well, isn't this just GREAT!" Jean dug around in her backpack angrily, "We're lost, don't have a map, and I can't even find my cell phone!"   
  
"We could use my cell phone…" Scott offered as he pulled out the aforementioned cell phone.   
  
Jean looked skeptically at the phone, "But your weekend minutes haven't started yet. Do you have any idea how much it would COST!?"   
  
"That's true," Scott said and tucked the phone away, "Maybe we should find the others. Kurt could just 'port us back to the car or something."   
  
She didn't look up from her backpack, which she was still rummaging through, "They're in those bushes over there."   
  
Nearby, a bush quivered and said, "Crap! She's on to us!"  
  
"If you'd, like, stop saying, 'Hey! Jean doesn't even suspect a thing!' all the time she wouldn't have heard us!" a second bush grumbled angrily to the first.   
  
A third bush piped up, "If you'd stop saying, 'like' all the time we'd all think you were smart." With that the three bushes began arguing with each other for a while. The first bush was trying to convince Jean that they were just normal talking bushes while the other two bushes had somehow gotten into a disagreement about who was the better bush.  
  
"-Of course, if there were pretty little pink bushes that talked like idiots, than I think you'd be perfect," said bush number three.  
  
The second bush fumed silently, then retorted, "Well I don't see any gothic bushes around, do you?"  
  
"I've seen plenty."  
  
"Like when?"  
  
"Like the one… uh… Shut up, Kitty!"   
  
The first bush started up again, "That bush didn't MEAN to say 'Kitty.' Nope, it meant to say, 'other bush'… Because we're bushes. Not people. Bushes. Regular bushes."  
  
"Shut up, Kurt!" yelled the second bush.   
  
"I'm not Kurt," the first bush said quickly, "Bushes don't have names. You're obviously one of those crazy bushes."   
  
"Rogue, Kitty, and Kurt!" Jean ordered, "Front and center!" The three bushes paused.  
  
After a moment, Kurt popped up from inside the first bush, "Way to blow our cover, guys!"   
  
Rogue pulled herself out of the third bush, "This whole idea was stupid, anyway."   
  
"Well, I didn't hear you coming up with any better ideas," Kurt pouted.   
  
"Guys, break it up!" Scott came between the three, then paused and looked around, "Where's Evan?"   
  
Kurt looked to Rogue, Rogue looked to Kitty, Kitty looked to Kurt, Kurt looked to Kitty, Kitty looked to Rogue, Rogue looked to Kurt, then they all looked to Scott and shrugged. Scott let out an exasperated sigh. They couldn't leave without Evan so now they had to spend even more time looking for him. He'd rather be at home watching his favorite soap opera, All My Mutants. This is the episode where he'd finally be able to know who the father of Petunia's child was and if he really was a mutant. Personally, Scott thought that Leonardo was the father. It made perfect sense, even though Leonardo was a jerk. He told Petunia that he never wanted to see her again when all she'd ever done was dump him for his grandfather!   
  
"That jerk! He could DIE for all I care!" Scott grumbled to himself, still thinking of how much he hated Leonardo. He stormed off into the woods to look for Evan who was making him miss the show.   
  
The other's stared after him in shock. Kurt leaned over to Jean, "Is he mad at Evan or something?" She only shrugged and began to follow after Scott.   
  
Meanwhile, Evan was still searching for the outhouse. All he'd manage to find was a gas station but the bathroom looked a little unsanitary so he'd passed it up.  
  
Up ahead, he saw a sign with a buzzing neon lettering on it that read: 'Maximoff Motel.' Evan stared at a moment, knowing that he should recognize the name, but he didn't. Instead, he realized that if it was a motel it would have bathrooms and that interested him more than the name.   
  
Of course, once he entered he came upon the LAST person he expected to see at the Maximoff Motel… Pietro Maximoff!  
  
Pietro emerged from the back room and stared at Evan in shock, "What are you doing here Dan-" Then he paused and looked nervously out the window at a creepy mansion overlooking the motel. Then he turned back and said calmly, "May I help you, sir?"  
  
Evan scowled at him, "What are you talking about, Pietro!?"  
  
He stared blankly at Evan, "I don't know this 'Pietro' you speak of. You must be thinking of someone else. My name is… uh… Pietro."   
  
"Oh…" Evan said confusedly, "Okay, than. I just need to use the bathroom."  
  
"Only paying guests can use the bathroom," Pietro huffed.   
  
Evan shifted his weight from foot-to-foot in the manner of a person who really has to use the bathroom and contemplated this. He really had to go, and he also really didn't want to spend the night in some dilapidated cabin with five other people. It was a win-win situation, once he thought about it. Finally decided, he fished out all the money he had and put it on the counter in front of Pietro, "Is this enough to get a room?"   
  
Pietro looked skeptically at the money, "Three pennies and a button. Usually a room costs twenty dollars." He paused as Evan stared blankly back at him, "But in your case I guess I can make an exception."   
  
"Yes!" Evan said excitedly and grabbed the key from Pietro's hand. He ran out the door in his 'I-really-have-to-use-the-bathroom' fashion. Pietro stared after him silently, then glanced out the window at his house on the hill side. He saw the silhouette of a person through one of the house's windows.   
  
Kitty, Kurt, and Rogue had all decided to find the cabin and wait there for Scott, Jean, and Evan. They had forgotten that they hadn't been able to find the cabin in the first place but that seemed like only a minor detail.  
  
It was frustrating enough to be wandering around in the middle of nowhere not knowing where they were going, but to make things worse, Kurt had Evan's camera and was recording everything that was going on, refusing to turn it off for everything.   
  
At this point I realized that this chapter is going nowhere. It was never meant to be. No matter how much I try to make myself write it I just can't. I'm very sorry. If it makes you feel better I had ideas for different horror movie parodies. See, I had started the Psycho parody with Evan and Pietro. Pietro was Norman and Wanda was going to be Mother. It would be fun. Kurt, Kitty, and Rogue would be doing the Blaire Witch parody, which probably wouldn't be as much fun. Scott and Jean would have a lot of parodies to have fun with. And the new recruits could be zombies or something. And Wolfsbane could be Cujo. Lance was going to be one of the killer-people. Except that it was only a cover up for something. I once knew what he was covering up and it was amusing, but I've since forgotten. It'd all be very great. But it was never meant to be.   
  
I know it all sounds very lazy of me to give up like this, but just know it was either give you this much or have to rewrite the whole chapter entirely, or more likely, just keep coming back to try and finish this one but just become increasingly frustrated with it and never finish any of the chapters ever. In the future I may come back and fix this one, if I can ever find my Scott-Dream muse. Let's hope the next chapters flow a bit better.   
  
I'll finish this chapter in the most orderly way possible.  
  
Suddenly, everyone died. Scott awoke from his dream and screamed. He screamed and screamed and then he went and got a snack. When he got back with his sandwich he screamed some more. Then he went back to sleep.  
  
Meanwhile, Xavier was disturbed. It seemed that the end had come just a little too abruptly. It was like some sort of person in charge of making dreams was a failure. But that was preposterous. Anyone who made dreams was brilliant and beautiful. And so Xavier decided to look at just one more dream. 


	11. Logan's Dream Part 1

Now, I'm sure ALL of you were wondering "Where was Pyro's cameo!?" Well, he was there. He was hiding behind a squirrel. You just didn't see him. So it's really your fault for not being more observant.  
  
Anyway… Review my fanfic, please. You're lack of reviews is very discouraging.  
  
Hizzy  
  
'Okay… now I REEEEALLY have to go to bed,' Xavier thought. He was feeling just a little sleepy and Logan was getting really annoyed that he had to keep waking him up at noon every day. Thinking about that, Xavier realized that he'd never once looked at any of Logan's dreams. He had always been a little nervous to. For some reason, he always just expected the dream to be about Logan killing people. But Logan was such a sweet caring person and would never even hurt anyone. So, with that, Xavier moved his way into Logan's dream, which had just started.  
  
Everyone at the institute had just seated themselves at the dining room table and waited for Xavier to arrive. They sat around in awkward silence until said quietly entered. He pulled up to the head of the table. Then there was more awkward silence.   
  
Xavier spoke up so suddenly it made everyone jump, "Good news, everyone!"  
  
"We can eat?" Kurt asked hopefully. He looked eagerly at his food and wagged his tail.  
  
Xavier chuckled, "Of course not. I have even better news. We're going on a winter vacation to the tropics." At this, the students began excitedly speaking amongst each other. "Everyone except Kurt and Rogue," he quickly added.  
  
The said students stared at him in disbelief. Kurt bamfed himself closer to the professor, "But why!?"  
  
"I've asked you several times to clean your room," the professor shook a finger at Kurt, "And it's still a mess. Maybe this will teach you to listen to me."   
  
Kurt was about to plead his case further, but Rogue pushed him out of the way, "What about me, professor!? My room's clean!"   
  
"Yes, well…" Xavier paused for a moment as he chose his words carefully, "We talked it over and decided that your just not the sort of person to be taken to the tropics. For one thing, your skin is unnaturally pale, and you would scare all the children."   
  
Rogue stared at him in shock, "WHAT!? You can't leave me and Kurt here alone while you all go off on a vacation!"  
  
Xavier chuckled and patted her shoulder softly, "You won't be alone. Logan has volunteered to stay behind as well."   
  
Rogue cast a glance back at Logan, who was currently picking his teeth with a claw, and she quickly looked back at Xavier, "Please! Please don't leave me here with him!"  
  
"Now, now, Rouge. Settle down," Xavier held a hand up, "You and Kurt will be fine."  
  
"No we won't! Come on, Kurt, help me out here!" She looked around for Kurt but he was nowhere to be seen.   
  
Moments later, Kurt reappeared in the room next to the professor, "There! I cleaned it! Go see for yourself!"  
  
Xavier shook his head, "I'm sorry Kurt. Our plans are already made. We're leaving-" He glanced down at his watch, "In five minutes. Everybody go get packed! If your not ready we're leaving you here with Logan." All the other students quickly got up and ran from the room. "Logan, keep them in line while I'm gone," Xaiver added before he also left the room.   
  
Kurt and Rogue sat down sadly and said nothing for the next few minutes. The other students finished packing in record time and all began to exit the building. Evan came up to Kurt and handed him a container of fish food.  
  
"Make sure to feed Mr. Bubbles for me," Evan said cheerfully, then noticed how down Kurt looked, "Oh, hey man, don't feel bad. Just remember that while you're here in the snow with Rogue and Logan, I'll be in the tropics having fun with everyone else." He grabbed all his stuff and caught up with Kitty, then said louder than he intended, "I'd hate to be Kurt right now!" Moments later, all the students had left and there was silence.   
  
Logan looked from Kurt to Rogue and at their identical miserable expressions. They stayed that way for a couple minutes, then sighed. Somewhere in the distance, a violin played a sad tune.   
  
Twenty minutes later, Logan came back from wherever it is he goes, and saw that Kurt and Rogue both still wore their miserable expressions. He grunted in annoyance, "What're you moping about? Just because we're not in the tropics doesn't mean you have to sit around feeling sorry for yourselves."   
  
"I'm sorry, but hanging around with you and Kurt isn't exactly my idea of a fun time," Rogue muttered.  
  
"Hey!" Kurt huffed.   
  
"I'm not that bad," Logan said gruffly, "I'm might not be 'with it' but I know how to have fun." Kurt and Rogue both raised an eyebrow and the three stared at each other for an awkward moment. Finally, Logan tried again, "Uh… You kids want some beer?" He wondered if beer was still cool.  
  
That night the three had eventually resolved their differences and decided to make the most of the months they would spend together. Logan let them stay up all night watching R-rated movies, if they agreed to leave him alone. It was a deal they could all live with.  
  
Logan stalked down the hall, bored. He usually just fought with people but nobody had come around since Xavier and the students left, about a week ago. So he just wandered aimlessly. He was just passing by the lounge, where there was currently a party going on, when he realized something was terribly wrong. Not only were there no parties allowed at the institute, but the party guests were none other than the Acolytes.   
  
Outraged, Logan marched into the room to give them a piece of his mind, despite the fact that they were all obviously wasted.   
  
"All of you get out of here or I'll-" Logan began with his claws extended, but was cut off as John ran into with a flaming lampshade on his head.   
  
Pyro stared at Logan, mistaking him for Magneto, "Why'ya always gotta be such a stiff?" With that he fell over and laughed insanely as the rug caught fire.   
  
Logan backed away from the scene, only to bump into Piotr, who was currently dancing the robot to the tune of Remy's drunken karaoke rendition of 'What a Girl Wants.' Logan was about to put an end to the apparent fun, when he noticed Sabretooth passed out at the bar.   
  
"You! You're behind this, aren't you!?" Logan snarled at him, to which Sabertooth only continued being passed out, thus causing Logan to become more enraged, "YOU - ME - OUTSIDE!" Sabertooth fell out of his stool and onto the ground. Logan stared at him for a moment, then snorted, "Yeah, that's what THOUGHT."   
  
Logan was startled as he noticed Lance on the other side of the bar. "What're YOU doing here?" he demanded.  
  
Lance rolled his eyes, "Haven't you ever seen a bartender before?" Logan could think of several things wrong with that, but before he could open his mouth, Lance continued, "Xavier hired me to do this, since he thinks you're too incompetent to do it on your own."  
  
Logan was about to wonder why Xavier would hire Lance of all people, let alone the fact they weren't permitted to have alcohol of any kind in the institute, but instead began to wonder if he really was incompetent, "Really? Charles said I'm incompetent?"   
  
"He said a lot of things about you," Lance said archly.   
  
Logan raised an eyebrow, "Like what?"   
  
"Nothing big… just that he doesn't think you'll be able to handle the responsibilities of caring for the institute by yourself all winter. This is all just his way of seeing you fail so that he can finally fire you like he's always wanted to do," Lance shrugged.   
  
"That doesn't sound like something the professor would say," Logan narrowed his eyes at the boy, "Why should I believe anything you say?"   
  
Lance looked nervous for a moment, then replied, "Because Xavier said you should?"   
  
"Oh, okay," Logan stopped glaring at him. Xavier wouldn't tell him to trust Lance if Lance was to not be trusted. Of course, after all those things Xavier had said about him, Logan just didn't know what to believe anymore. "I'll show HIM who's incompetent!" Logan finally burst, "I'm going to be the best damn caretaker this place has ever seen!" With a new flare of confidence, Logan proceeded out of the room to do some caretaking.  
  
Lance watched him leave and a mischievous smile crossed his face. It was all going according to plan. He glanced over at Piotr, John, and Remy who were now all leaning against each other's shoulders, sobbing, while singing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' Lance let out an exasperated sigh.  
  
Rogue stared at the neatly trimmed hedge that went well above her head. She walked around it until she found an entrance, then curiously entered. 'Since when do we have a hedge maze!?' she thought. After following the pathway for a while, she finally found an open area at the middle, where Logan was. He was occupied with one area of the hedges, where he was using his claws to trim it.  
  
"Logan!?" Rogue ran over to where he was, "Did you do this!?"   
  
"Yeah," he grunted, admiring his work, "Why? You think this is the sort of thing competent people do?"  
  
"Sure…" Rogue raised an eyebrow at him. She cast a glance back in the direction of the institute and shuddered. "But those hedge animals you made are really creepy.  
  
For a moment Logan looked distressed, "Do you think Xavier won't like them? He'll think I'm incompetent!?"   
  
"No, no!" Rogue said quickly. A distressed Logan was something nobody wanted, "I'm sure the professor will love them! He told me before he left, 'competent people are always making creepy hedge animals.'"   
  
Logan stared at her for a moment, then smiled inwardly. Then he noticed Rogue looking at him curiously. He cleared his throat and put on a serious expression, "Well, I have some manly stuff to do now." With that, he headed off to knit some doilies.  
  
End part one of Logan's dream. In case you haven't already figured it out, this is a parody of the Shining. If you haven't seen/read it, you should. It's a great movie/book. There are actually two versions of the movie. There was a mini series and the more known movie with Jack Nicolson, which was great. The book was great too. I'll probably add in parts from both the movie and the book. Yippy skippy!   
  
Anyway, I was going to write more on this chapter, but I know I've made everyone wait so long. And I have a sudden urge to work on my other fanfic, Bad Love. I love both of my fanfics so… And that one hasn't been getting attention. 


	12. Logan's Dream Part 2

Logan watched as Kurt and Rogue had a conversation about who knows what. He liked to keep to himself, anyway, so he stayed quiet as he finished eating his dinner and contemplating important matters. He wondered what exactly would please Xavier. He'd already cleaned the entire mansion, even the forbidden dungeon that no one was supposed to talk about. Was there more that Xavier would want? Nothing he did would ever please the professor, Logan thought. It angered him just thinking about it.  
  
"Logan's really been acting weird," Kurt said, looking at the mentioned man, who was currently glaring at his plate of chicken.  
  
Rogue nodded in agreement and wondered what the chicken had done to upset Logan, "Yeah, and he keeps saying that he talked to Lance, which we both know is impossible. Not after… the accident." It did, in fact, seem rather impossible. The entire Brotherhood of Mutants had all met an unfortunate death a couple months earlier, at the annual Brotherhood Picnic when a fight had broke out over the last taco.  
  
"We aren't supposed to talk about the accident," Kurt whispered in shock. They were both relieved to see that Logan hadn't heard the mention. He was glaring even harder at the chicken now.  
  
"Um… Logan?" Rogue was about to nudge him with her hand, when he suddenly turned towards the students with his claws out and snarled.  
  
"I'LL SHOW HIM WHO'S INCOMPETANT!" he yelled into Rogue's face. He then ran out the door in the most competent manner he could manage. He couldn't waste precious competence time Opening doors, so he just smashed through them instead.  
  
Rouge and Kurt stared after him in silence. They glanced at each other nervously, then sat down to finish their dinner.  
  
The first month passed by without much difficulty. Logan continued acting very competent, while Rogue and Kurt continued fearing for their lives. Until one fateful night…  
  
Logan was scrubbing the floor furiously. He still couldn't see his reflection in it. It was still unclean. He had been at it for a couple hours already, but he knew how the professor liked the floors to be shiny. They reminded Xavier of his own head.  
  
Rogue wandered in and watched his cleaning frenzy. "Logan?"  
  
He looked up at her with a snarl, "What!? What do you want?"  
  
She took a step away from him and tried her best to smile nicely at him, "I was just wondering why your scrubbing the carpet like that. It's already clean. In fact, you're just scrubbing a hole right through it." Logan looked in shock at the hole he had created in the carpet. The professor wouldn't be please with this. "What have I done!?" Logan raised his arms into the air dramatically and wailed, "WHHHHHHY!?" He knew what he had to do. He'd put a rug over the hole so that nobody could see it. Xavier would never have to know. But what about Rogue? She had seen everything. She'd rat him out. She'd ruin everything.  
  
Rogue started backing out of the room uneasily, "Well, um, I can see that you have things under control here… I think I'll just go see how Kurt's doing."  
  
"Not so fast, Rogue," Logan stared at her ominously, "You know my secret. I can't let you leave." With that, he lunged at her, claws extended.  
  
Rogue screamed and held her arms in front of her face as if to shield herself, "I'm sorry! I won't tell, I promise!"  
  
Logan stopped midair and blinked. "Oh. Okay." That problem solved, he went about fixing the carpet, humming the song 'Happy Together' and smiling while he did so. While he was distracted, she made her way out the door. For a moment, she stood in the hallway being shocked.  
  
Just then, Kurt ran up to her in a panic. "Rogue! It was horrible! Horrible!" he shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders, "I was just standing there and then the elevator doors opened up and all this blood came pouring out!  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes, "Kurt, the elevators have ALWAYS done that. We've had this discussion before."  
  
"Oh yeah…" Kurt got a far-away look in his eyes, then hopped on his tricycle and rode off down the hallway. He loved the tricycle. It reminded him of his childhood in Germany. His parents had bought him a small tricycle and played circus music while they charged people admission to see it. It was all great fun. He began to hum some of the circus music as he peddled around.  
  
He was very happy until he turned around a corner and spotted a pair of twins standing in front of him. They both stared at him creepily.  
  
Kurt's eyes grew wide, "Wanda!? Pietro!?"  
  
"Hello, Kurt," they said in unison.  
  
"Don't do that!" Kurt groaned.  
  
"Do what?" they asked.  
  
"That!" he pointed at them, "Talking at the same time. Even if you are identical twins, how do you do it? I mean, do you plan what you're going to say in advance or something?"  
  
"We're not identical," they said in an annoyed voice.  
  
Kurt looked confused, "But you're twins, right?"  
  
"Yes, but we're fraternal twins," they explained, "Not identical twins."  
  
"What's the difference," Kurt shrugged.  
  
"Well," Pietro pulled out scientific pictures to indicate his point, "Identical twins derive from the same fertilized ovum that, at an early stage of development becomes separated into independently growing cell aggregations, giving rise to two individuals of the same sex, identical genetic makeup, and closely similar appearance. On the other hand, fraternal twins such as ourselves, derive from separately fertilized ova and that have different genetic makeup." He put the charts away and looked back at the confused Kurt, "That's why I can get my good looks from my father, and Wanda looks all weird like our mother."  
  
"What!?" Wanda snarled as she glared at Pietro.  
  
"Um… I mean…" Pietro nervously looked at Kurt, "I hope that clears things up for you."  
  
"A little too much. And it doesn't explain why you're here," Kurt explained, "Aren't you dead?"  
  
"Of COURSE we're dead," Pietro exclaimed. Wanda elbowed him hard in the side. "Er, no, we're not dead."  
  
"But you were all killed in that horrible accident," Kurt looked from one twin to the other, "It was all over the news for days!"  
  
"Days?" Pietro sighed, "Geez… we die and all they give us is a couple days coverage."  
  
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "I thought you weren't dead."  
  
"We weren't- aren't. But, um… Wanda?" he looked at his sister and shrugged.  
  
Wanda rolled her eyes, "I should have KNOWN you'd mess this up."  
  
He rolled his eyes, "Well, exCUSE me. I just don't like lying is all."  
  
She scowled at him, "Yes you do! You lie all the time! This morning you told Toad that I wanted to go out with him."  
  
"No I didn't!" Pietro looked shocked that she'd accuse him of such a thing.  
  
Wanda scowled at him some more, "I was standing right next to you when you said it!"  
  
"No you weren't!" Pietro gasped.  
  
Wanda tried to suppress the rage that was growing inside of her. The worst part about this was that Pietro was already dead, so she couldn't kill him. "Look, Pietro, just forget about it for now. We just need to get Kurt out of the way so Lance can brainwash that stupid Logan guy. Lets just take Kurt and lock him and Rogue in the pantry or something?"  
  
"Okay," Pietro said and turned around, only now realizing that Kurt had already snuck away, "Ah crap."  
  
"Rogue! Rogue!" Kurt yelled as he ran down the hallways, waving his arms above his head in a panic. He ran past the kitchen, past the rec room, past the ballroom, past the forbidden dungeon, past Rogue, past the laundry room, past his bedroom, and into the study, where he finally found her. "Rogue, I'm so glad I found you! I saw some ghosts! I was lucky to escape with my life. I think we should get out of here, before the ghosts get us. Or worse, before Logan gets us. He's gone completely crazy and I think he'll kill us!"  
  
"I'm not Rogue," Logan growled in annoyance.  
  
Kurt stared at him for a moment, with wide eyes. He considered his options. He could run away, or stay behind and get killed by Logan. On one hand, he was tired from all the running he'd already done, but on the other hand, he really didn't want to be killed.  
  
Before Kurt had a chance to run away, Logan had caught a grip on his tail and held him back.  
  
Kurt screamed, "Please don't kill me! I'm too young and loveable!"  
  
"I'm not gonna kill you!" Logan grumbled, to which Kurt slightly relaxed.  
  
"Could you let me go, than?" He motioned to his tail, which Logan still had clenched in his fist tightly.  
  
Logan sighed and did so, "Now leave me alone. I'm trying to get some work done."  
  
Kurt peered over the man's shoulder and saw a typewriter, "What're you doing, anyway?"  
  
"Xavier asked me to make a journal of everything that's going on while he's gone," Logan explained, becoming annoyed at the presence of Kurt.  
  
Kurt stared at him, "That's stupid. Did he really ask you to do that?"  
  
"Yes, now go away!" Logan snarled.  
  
"That seems awfully long," Kurt looked at the stack of papers next the typewriter, "What're you writing in there?" He reached to pick up one of the papers, but Logan quickly grabbed his wrist tightly and began dragging Kurt out of the room.  
  
"Forget about the novel. Just leave me alone," growled Logan.  
  
"Didn't you say it was a journal?" Kurt asked.  
  
"No!" Logan shouted, "And if you ask one more question I'll kill you!" Kurt's eyes widened in shock, and Logan realized his error. "I mean… uh… Please don't ask any more questions, Kurt. Now leave daddy alone so he can work." With that, he slammed the door in Kurt's face. Kurt stared at the door in confusion.  
  
Finally alone, Logan turned back to the typewriter to get back to work but was surprised to find Lance standing behind him.  
  
"What're you doing here?" he growled.  
  
Lance smiled smugly at Wolverine, "They're getting in your way, aren't they? You know, there's a very simple solution to this problem."  
  
Logan narrowed his eyes, "And what's that?"  
  
"Kill them," Lance said nonchalantly.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Logan took a seat at the desk and began to set up the next page on the typewriter, "Why would I kill them? They're good kids, most of the time."  
  
Lance chuckled to himself, "Sure, but you didn't hear what they were saying about you. They've been talking about how they don't like you. They want to see you fail at this so that Xavier will fire you. That's why they're going to get in your way."  
  
Logan jumped out of his chair, furious, "They won't get away with this!" He began running out of the room, knocking things over as he ran. He paused briefly in the door, then ran back in and knocked over the chair and nodded in approval. That done, he ran back out of the room to assure that Kurt and Rogue wouldn't get in his way.  
  
His work done, Lance began laughing manically. He laughed for a couple minutes, then realized that he didn't know why he was laughing and exited the room.  
  
To be continued in part three of Logan's dream. (sorry) 


	13. Logan's Dream Part 3

This fanfic liiiiives! What a difficult chapter this has been. But I finally got my fanfic-writing mojo back halfway through. Hope you all enjoy this. 

-Hizzy

* * *

"Logan?" Rogue asked timidly as she stepped into the study room. Logan wasn't anywhere in site, but he had obviously ripped apart the room not too long ago. There were books torn apart, chairs overturned, paintings slashed through, and a wet spot on the carpet where he had either spilled a beverage or marked his territory. In fact, there was only one thing in the room that didn't seem to be destroyed, and that was the typewriter and a stack of papers next to it. Rogue wondered if it the papers' content would help her in any way to find out what was causing Logan's crazed behavior. She pulled a paper off the top of the pile and began to read it.

'Dear Diary,

Yesterday was my birthday and Kurt and Rogue didn't even remember. Maybe that's because I never told them it was my birthday, but still! They could have asked when my birthday was. But they didn't! Nobody ever considers my feelings. I wish they would apologize to me. Then I wouldn't have to kill them. At least the professor remembered. He sent me a package that the mailman delivered today. It was a box of cookies. I was so happy I ate all of the cookies as soon as I opened it. But there was coconut in the cookies! How could the professor forget that I hate coconut? I never told him that I hate coconut but he could have at least read my mind just to be sure! That's what his powers are for. Anyway, I was so upset that I killed the mailman. That made me feel a little better. But just thinking about it right now makes me so mad! I will probably feel a lot better after I kill Kurt and Rogue. And then when all the other students get back I will kill them, too. And maybe their families if I feel like it. I haven't really decided yet. Oh, look at me! I'm going on like a school girl! I'd better get going so I can kill Kurt and Rogue.'

Rogue stared at the page in shock, unbelieving of what she had just read. She had already suspected that Logan was planning on killing her. In fact, the other day, he'd said to her, "Rogue, I'm going to kill you. I don't mean that as a joke or anything. I'm seriously going to kill you. Oh, and dinner's ready." But now that she actually read it on paper, she realized that it was actually going to happen.

She was still staring at the page when she heard the door slam open. She gave a shriek and spun around, finding Logan standing in the doorway. He had a crazy look in his eyes and a rifle in his hand.

"Don't kill me!" she screamed as he started towards her.

Logan stopped and gave her an odd look, "Who said anything about killing you?"

"You did!" she exclaimed.

He rolled his eyes, "I was just joking when I said that."

"But you said you weren't joking," she pointed out.

Logan thought about it for a moment, then shot back, "I was joking when I said I wasn't joking. It's all a joke. Get it?" He began laughing cheerfully. Well, to him it sounded cheerful. In reality it actually sounded insane. Rogue stared at him silently. He abruptly stopped laughing and extended his claws in her direction, "I asked if you get it!"

"Yes! I get it!" she forced herself to laugh cheerfully. Well, to her it sounded cheerful. In reality she was actually just screaming.

"Stop screaming!" Logan shouted at her, "I have a headache and you're making it worse!"

She stopped immediately. They both stared at each other silently for a few awkward moments. As each moment went by, Rogue noticed that Logan seemed to grow more and more annoyed. She realized he was waiting for her to say something.

"So...um..." she started nervously, "Why do you have that gun?"

Logan looked briefly at the rifle that he was still holding, "I was just making dinner."

Rogue looked from the gun to Logan in confusion, "But that doesn't explain why you have the gun."

Logan's patience wore out and he snapped, "WHAT ARE YOU A DETECTIVE! I hate detectives! I'll kill you!"

She quickly started to back up but noticed that Logan was blocking the only door out of the room, "You said you were joking when you said you weren't joking about killing me."

"I was joking when I told you I was joking about not joking," he said menacingly as he approached her, claws extended.

Rogue knew she had to distract Logan just long enough to get out the door. But how could she do that? Then she had a brilliant idea.

Logan raised his claws in the air, ready to strike, when Rogue pulled out a glowing green stone and threw it at his feet.

Logan shrieked, "Kryptonite!" He immediately fell to the floor, becoming weak.

Rogue seized the opportunity and ran out the door.

Five minutes later, Logan was in agony, when he came to a sudden realization, "Wait a minute... kryptonite isn't my weakness! My weakness is the color yellow. No, that's not it, either." He spent another couple minutes trying to remember what his weakness was, until he finally gave up and chased after Rogue.

She was halfway across the institute by the time Logan finally caught up with her. She was about to run up a flight of stairs, when she tripped over one of Kurt's bats.

"What'd I tell you about leaving these bats all over, Kurt!" she shouted angrily and rubbed her scraped elbow.

"Sorry!" Kurt yelled from elsewhere.

Rogue wanted to yell some certain words back at him, but thought it more appropriate to deal with Logan first. He was practically upon her now. He drew closer.... closer.... closer... for a moment he grew further away... but then he grew closer again. Finally, Rogue picked up the bat and swung it wildly in Logan's general direction.

Logan was about to laugh at her foolishness, when she finally managed to tap him on the arm with it. It was at that convenient moment that Logan remembered that his weakness was actually bats. With that, he fell to the floor, unconscious. Rogue marveled at how simple it was.

---------------------------

"Kurt, we have to get out of here before Logan kills us!" Rogue announced as she burst into his room.

He groaned, "But my favorite show is just starting! It's about a cow who's lactose intolerant. It's so ironic it's funny!" He didn't have time to laugh at the irony of it, before Rogue was dragging him out of the room.

"I've locked him in the food pantry," Rogue explained, "So that should buy us enough time to get out of here."

Kurt got a nervous look on his face, "You mean the food pantry with the broken lock?"

"Crap!" Rogue smacked her face, "I knew I was forgetting about something!"

Suddenly, Kurt had an idea, "What if I contact the professor? I'm sure if I think hard enough in his direction, he'll pick up on my thoughts."

"Great idea!" Rogue exclaimed. She watched as Kurt sat down and began concentrating in the direction he thought the professor was in.

------------------------------

"Professor, we're all going down to the beach!" Jean announced as she bounded out of the hotel room.

"Have fun!" Xavier waved them off. Once they were all out of site, Xavier sighed in relief, "Finally, I'm alone!" With that, he turned on the free HBO and raided the liquor cabinet.

Just as he was finishing off his third drink, he heard Kurt's voice.

"Professor! Professor! Logan's trying to kill us! And we're out of bubble bath! Now my bath's aren't fun anymore! Help!"

Xavier looked down at the glass in his hand and decided that he must have had one too many drinks. Or not enough. Either way, he decided to pour himself another.

-----------------------------

Logan pouted as he sat amongst the boxes of pudding mix and Jell-O brand gelatin. Xavier would really think he was a failure now. Surely he would get fired. Or at least have to spend a night in the snake pit, just like a student had to when they acted up.

He was still in the middle of feeling sorry for himself, when Lance walked in. He glared at Logan, "What are you doing!? They're getting away!"

Logan growled miserably and said, "But Rogue knows of my bat weakness."

"Well, I happen to know that her weakness is... uh... axes," Lance said and handed him an obscenely large axe, "Now go get'em, tiger!"

A renewed sense of invincibility, Logan ran off to do what he was best at: scaring the children from next door. And after that, he planned on killing Rogue and Kurt.

-----------------------------------

"Quick, Kurt," Rogue shouted and pointed to the stairway, "We need to get downstairs!"

"Wait!" Kurt grabbed Rogue by the arm and pointed at a sign hung in front of the stairs that said, 'stairs out of order, please use elevator.'

They didn't have any time to think about how strange that sounded before Logan's voice could be heard shouting random threats at them, "You kids better get back here! I'll kill you! You're grounded! Don't make me take my belt off! I'll tell your parents on you! What would Jesus do! RAWR!"

"Oh no!" Rogue gasped. The two raced to the elevator and pressed the button. After a moment, the elevator doors opened and blood began to pour out. Rogue groaned in annoyance, "Not again! Stupid elevator!"

"Maybe if we ask the blood to move over, we can fit in there, too," Kurt suggested.

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Lets just go lock ourselves in this bathroom. Surely he can't get us then."

"But I don't have to use the bathroom," Kurt whined, and was pulled inside the room anyway.

They didn't have any time to relax before they could hear an axe being pounded against the door. It only took a couple blows before the axe had broken through, leaving a big hole in the door, while Kurt and Rogue held onto each other screaming.

Just then, Pyro stuck his head through the door, "Heeeeeeere's Johnny!"

Kurt and Rogue stopped screaming and stared at him. Pyro looked confused, then walked away without saying another word. The two mutants barely had time to sigh in relief before Logan leapt through the door.

"Now I've got you right where I want you!" he laughed maniacally, "Now I can finally kill you..."

Ten minutes later...

"And THAT'S why the chicken crossed the road!"

Kurt and Rogue were laughing so hard they could barely breath.

"Oh, Logan, you're killing us!" Kurt said, wiping a tear of laughter out of his eye.

"I told you I would!" Logan chuckled.

Rogue smiled in relief, "So this whole time you said you were going to kill us, you didn't mean it literally!"

Logan thought for a moment, "Nope, I'm still going to kill you." With that, he raised the axe above his head and took a swing.

----------------------------------

Suddenly Logan woke up. After a moment he realized that Rogue and Kurt were no where in site, and he didn't have an axe. He sighed in disappointment. Why did he always have to wake up at the best part?

Meanwhile, Xavier was absolutely shocked at what he had seen. How could Logan have actually dreamed something like that!? A show about a lactose intolerant cow!? Impossible!

The professor looked over at his clock. "Midnight... Well, it's late, I'd better get to sleep."

And that he did. All through the night he had a crazy dream. One about witches, planes, icebergs, dead people, maps, races, and axe-murderers. And it truly was the most interesting night he had ever had.

* * *

The end (of Logan's dream)

This isn't the last chapter. There is at least one chapter after this and the GLORIOUS COMPLETION OF SCOTT'S CHAPTER (which is currently underway and almost completed as it is)! As of now, I'm not going to continue on to make the Brotherhood dreams. I had really reeeeally wanted to. The brotherhood chapters would have been great. But I'm honestly not going to continue a fanfic that only gets one review a chapter. That just makes me sad.

Buuuut, I might change my mind. Because I had some great ideas for the brotherhood parodies and they were some of the ones I looked forward to doing the most. So, if you don't want this fanfic to do please review and I MIGHT consider keeping it alive.


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